Wow

It is absolutely silent right now. Well, almost. The dryer is tumbling but it is a very soft, scratchy noise that oddly adds to this zen-like moment I am having. The living room is toasty warm. The sunlight is filling up the rooms. And there are no kids. Not one. This happens but once a week, when Rob shuffles the kids off to swim class.

Sure, it is an noisy ordeal getting them out the door. They come back home like a herd of cattle too. We are definitely going through a very noisy stage in parenting right now so this warm, bright and oh-so-silent room is as close to bliss as I'll come this week.

It just clarifies this intense need for mommy time. Alone time. Time to relax, reflect or (wouldn't it be awesome) write. The family is pretty good about leaving me alone to read a book or cook a meal but I am still aware of the din. The situation plays itself over and over again while I pretend not to notice, "...Mommy!", "Shush, Mommy is ---, what do you need?", "I need Mommy to...", "Well, I could have done that! Don't bother her now.". It could be either child - always with a need to get a glass of water, show me a paper cut or to just tell me something.

I love them to death. But breaks are nice. Going without them for a certain amount of time makes you forget you even need them - or how much. Once in a blue moon I get to hang out with Rob. Or friends. I rarely get to be alone though. I miss it a lot.

A little late...but Happy Birthday Alex!!

We had the family over on Sunday to celebrate Alex's 7th birthday. I made him a LEGO Atlantis underwater birthday cake. He was happy with it! He was happy for two reasons, he told me. The first because now he was more than half way to being a teenager. (Made me kind of miss the birthday where he cried because he was getting older and never wanted to leave home, lol!)
The second because he got a raise on his allowance on his birthday. They get their age in dollars every two weeks - or half their age a week, depending on how you want to look at it. I just find it easier to pay them when Rob gets paid.

So, now I have a seven year old boy and I couldn't be prouder! I adore this kid, which I know every mom says, but he is just such a kind-hearted boy and a treat to be around. His aunt gave him two books for his birthday and he jumped up and down like he had just been told he was going to Disney. He is always so gracious and considering how spoiled he is, he takes little for granted.

I know I did a birth story for Izzy and would like to try and piece together the fragments of my memories from Alex's birth. I am in between computers right now and when I regain access to my photos I'll post one of the not so teeny, tiny boy as a newborn.

To say that finding out we were expecting Alex was a surprise would be an understatement. Eight years ago I sat in a doctor's office being told how difficult it would be for me to get pregnant and that I needed to go home and decide when we were going to start pursuing aggressive options. I was 27, so it wasn't a dire situation but there wasn't a lot of time to lose. My doctor didn't want me coming back at 35 feeling like I had really missed the boat.

I went home, had a good cry and Rob and I decided we would do what we needed to do when the time came. Some fertility treatments, perhaps look into adoption if that didn't work. At any rate, we were still going to wait another year or two before we proceeded with any plan.

Several weeks later I was talking to my pharmacist, talking about my PCOS and why the birth control wasn't regulating my period as it had done in the past. She told me to grab a pregnancy test so I could officially rule it out when I went back to the doctor. Sure thing!!

When I got home that night I told a distracted husband that I was taking a pregnancy test, hardy-har-har, and that if he heard a scream and a thud he should come check on me. Well, a few minutes later there was more of a yelp and a whole lot of "Oh My Gods" going on. Rob came running towards me having totally forgotten (or not even heard) what I had said to him and only registered what I was saying when I started waving the pee stick in his face. I totally freaked out. I couldn't have been less prepared for that possibility.

I was up all night googling possible reasons a pregnancy test would come back positive because I couldn't possibly be pregnant. As soon as the stores were open, I was at the front door with a full bladder to purchase another couple boxes of tests. All of which told me the same thing. I was pregnant!

It was a Friday morning in August, which I remember because I begged to see my doctor that afternoon and my blood work wouldn't come back quickly because it was the weekend. She did immediately book an ultrasound just to see what was going on. On my way to that Friday afternoon appointment I remember telling Rob that I would call if she heard a heartbeat, thinking what a great joke that was. If only I had known...

So I was pregnant and had no idea how far along I was. We had the ultrasound booked a week after discovery. Well, not only was there an audible heartbeat but the screen showed us a very well developed baby - around 18 weeks along. We were dumbfounded! Into the second trimester without even knowing I was pregnant. Heck, I was pregnant the day the doctor told me I may never even have kids!

He was the easiest pregnancy. Never gave me a problem until the end when he didn't want to come out. Since this post has gotten so long I will leave his birth day for another post. It is nice remembering. Feels like a million years ago though.

My Favourite Things!!!

I am killing time between coats of paint and really am not interested in the big pile of dirty laundry ;-)

My iPhone. Rob and I each got a 16gig 3Gs phone and we may love them more than each other. Techie families with gadget obsessions are the the worst! Yesterday, Rob called me from work while I was chatting with a neighbour. I interrupted her to answer the phone, thinking it must be important because he has only texted me from the office since we got them. Turned out he just wanted to say hi, lol.

Bananagrams. We have had this game for about 2 years but I had no idea how fun it was until my sister-in-law noticed we had it and showed us the game. Addictive and so much fun. I had just been using the tiles to practice reading and spelling with the kids. We break this game out so much I bought another pack to add extra players.

Angie Sage. Alex burned through her Araminta Spookie books in record time and we are starting the Septimus Heap books.

The colour cornmeal. It is what I am painting my kitchen right now and I love it!!! It is so bright and warm. Now I just need to pick some $*#&%# colours for the rest of the house. Not my forte!

Starbucks Vanilla Rooibos Tea. OMG. It is fantastic! I am a real tea fanatic and have about 20 different kinds in my cupboard right now. Not to mention a fancy, schmancy tea maker on the counter. I had it in a latte last night and wow, it is like dessert in a cup.

My new MEC Shoulder Bag. I have had many purses but this bag is the bee's knees. Holds everything I need. Great organization compartments. Love the handle on it. Don't think I have ever spent just $19 on a hand bag but this is my favorite by far. I love all our MEC stuff. Won't buy a backpack from any where else.

Clean Eating Magazine. I love magazines though I don't buy many any more. Too many ads in most. I used to like Cooking Light but I find they have more articles and less food these days. Clean Eating, I think, is one of the best healthy food magazines out there. I keep every subscription and have tried many of their recipes. Excellent read!

Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. A bread cookbook by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois. I have mentioned this book in other posts. This is the book with my pizza and white bread recipe. The one everyone loves and people beg me to make for them. So simple, and truly works every time. Just picked up their new book, Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a day but haven't made anything in it yet due to the tail end of the kitchen reno. Place is tarped up like a Dexter kill room. Another favourite thing, by the way. Loved that show since the first episode aired in 2006. One of my all time favourite tv shows.

I'll come back and add more if I can think of anything else!

A Few Truths About Me:

Inspired by some fellow hs bloggers (Kez and Butterfly plus many others, I am sure!).

I have pretty much stopped watching the news. I know about Haiti and feel horrified for the people there...and will try to give in ways that I can...but life is so much less stressful since I stopped watching news. I read a little online and keep up to date on the big stuff. I used to get so worked up - angry at politicians, sad for the babies that lost their lives to crazy parents, disgusted by drunk drivers that kill a family of 4, etc... I still have those feelings but I can't invest so much emotion to all the sadness and horrors in this world 24-7. Sometimes I feel a little stupid hearing something important second hand but not enough to jump back into the abyss.

I need to lose a lot of weight. A lot. Down 25lbs right now but a long way to go. Not stressing over it. For me it is all about health. I could care less about bikini wear ;)

I love food. Okay, not a secret. Not just eating food, but cooking food and feeding others. I am a genuine food snob. Do not bring parmesan cheese in a can into my house. Or any kind of "helper" for some form of meat. Or fish sticks. I don't think my kids even know what a fish stick is. My almost 7 year old loves quinoa and asks for the sushi with fish eggs on top.

Dare I say it? Only Rob knows this so far, I think, but...I love Jane Austen Fan Fiction. There, I said it. Good ones - and there are a few. Sure, Austen would probably be horrified at what is out there (and I have to say that while I had high hopes for Pride, Prejudice and Zombies it was a real disaster) there are some really good writers who just will never get paid to write this stuff. I can remember being a kid, reading a book that really grabbed me and thinking about alternative situations for those characters and plot. What can I say? I just love it.

I love movies. As a teen I think I saw almost one a week in the theater. My favourites are period pieces, zombie movies (hence the PP&Z book), end of the world movies (much to Rob's chagrin, lol), dark comedies and some sci-fi (like the new Star Trek or Serenity). That last one is a late introduction to my repertoire and is really just what happened after living with my husband for over a decade.

I come from a pretty mentally unstable family of origin. So unstable that I cut off all ties with my parents about 6 years ago - no contact at all. This sounds really bad and depressing but it is not. I am happy, healthy and have worked this out many years ago with the help of my therapist. I am usually pretty open about this but I tend not to write about it on this blog. Kind of bums people out.

I love a clean and tidy house. I just have no interest in doing anything to keep it that way. I hate house cleaning. Almost as much as my husband which, frankly, is a lethal combination. I'd hire a house keeper but I am fussy about my stuff being touched.

I love massages. Real ones by professionals. I can't do it though because I am so ticklish. Nothing like a squirming client on the table to make you regret career choices.

I really, genuinely do not care what other people think. Thanks to a few years of therapy. Conflict, however, is a whole other issue. I hate arguments and confrontation. Makes me sick to my stomach. I have to mute the tv when people on it are yelling at each other. Those morons who yell at people all the time on the Fox network are living my idea of hell.

I think I was born an atheist. Never once have I been able to believe in God. I wanted to a few times but it just isn't in there. My dad is an atheist and my mother roman catholic. My brother and I each chose a side. I had an amazing upbringing in this regard. Atheist dad was really good friends with a priest, who adored me and let me participate in all sorts of religious rituals. I went to a catholic school up to grade 6. My dad got his degree in religion at university. There were always discussions going on. It was fantastic. I love the ritual and ceremony that comes with religion and the community too. I just can't get into the god part.

I talk and write too much. But you knew that already. :)

Venting - Ontario begins rolling out all day JK :(

Funny enough, the school Izzy went to didn't make the cut for next year.

Anyway, a list of schools came out this week announcing which ones will be offering all day junior and senior kindergarten next year. I am alternately sad and disgusted. First of all, call it what it is, government funded day care. Don't go off telling the world that this is going to help our economy by making our future workforce smarter.

I know it is optional. Though they won't rule out making it mandatory in four or five years when the program is fully implemented. This means they would have to amend the education act too. Right now education is mandatory from 6 to 18 or graduation). This would mean pushing it down to age 3...because good chunk of babies born later in the year are three when they start JK here making it 15 full years of mandatory schooling. (For my friends who do not hs please understand that I see a huge difference between learning and schooling since we are learning all the time and not always in school or after ager 3 ;-))

I know that many kids are in daycare all day. Daycare has lower child to care giver ratios than school, I wonder will the board of education adhere to those numbers. Not likely. I also know it can be a challenge to deal with a child only in school for 3 hours while you work 8 or 9. Why not offer alternate day schooling, like in some districts. Or have a daycare attached to the schools. Or at least admit to the public at large that it is still half day kindergarten with some daycare thrown in on the house.

It really bothers me that the government is instituting this program. At an additional 1.5 billion dollars each year you would think that the money could be spent better elsewhere. Our colleges and universities are suffering. Our public and high schools are crumbling due to lack of money for maintenance. I can't see why circle time is more important to our society at this time over new chemistry books...or even enough books for each student? It is the Province trying to solve a daycare issue at the expense of an already maxed out education system.

A fairly well-known homeschooler from BC (Miranda, aka Moominmama) once said something on a board that has stayed with me for a long time. I am paraphrasing: We started with kindergarten to introduce kids to the school system and prepare them for grade one. Then we added Junior Kindergarten to prepare the kindergarteners for Senior Kindergarten. Then we added all these preschool programs to get kids ready for Jk...it just never ends.

So I wonder, what is the point of all day school for 3, 4 and 5 year olds. If it is about getting people working and spending more money, okay, admit that and stop pretending that this is solely for the benefit of our children. Do not tell me that this makes kids happier, healthier and smarter. Aside from my anecdotal evidence to the contrary, studies that show a real benefit to structured early education are based in urban and lower income places. We know that at home, at school or at daycare, what matters most are involved parents/educators who care and commit to their children's education.

Oy!!! I could go on forever. I know that this world isn't filled with stay at home moms baking cookies, lol, nor should it be. I want choices for my kids - especially my daughter. What I want is for people to take a really good look at what is best for the masses of young ones we are marching off to school and acknowledge why we are doing it.

Anyway, rant over. I am getting more agitated and repetitive. Funny how I hear that homeschoolers only do what is best for themselves. I do care. A lot. I am just thankful that I can dislike a system and be able to remove myself from it too.

Eclectic and relaxed...

...with an unschoolish bent. Huh? I have read back through my last few posts and think I have moved slightly away from that. Still relaxed - mostly. I have my days, like everyone else. Eclectic, for sure. I like to mix things up and enjoy reading and incorporating different styles and techniques. Unschoolish? Less so each day.

I don't think unschooling works for Alex right now. I wanted to have the work boxes there for him to pick and choose his activities but I realize that certain activities need to be done first thing in the morning. Take today, for example, which was our first day of using the work boxes and was technically a disaster but we had little control over it.

To start, my nephew was with us today. An out of town doctor's appointment for my niece meant a day off school for L. L and Alex are the same age. He is a sweet boy but he and Alex tend to get each other all riled up. Not in a bad way. They just get so excited they become oblivious to the world around them. Then Alex takes a while to settle his brain back down. Plus L is a gaming addict. I banned Wii play today until after Alex had his piano lesson (first one since June) but let the boys play after lunch. By the time everyone left it was late afternoon and Alex was not in a frame of mind to get much done. He gets whinier, and works as slow as molasses. It is hard for him to focus. Izzy starts to get in the way by bugging him or getting in his way. It isn't pretty and eventually devolves into a sulky kid and aggravated mother.

So I know math, piano and reading together will have to come first thing. There will need to be more repetition and better scheduling for his school work. These next few weeks are going to be rough as it is with the extra fatigue from starting activities all over again and this new business of getting Izzy off to school each day.

I wish I could unschool. Between dealing with school (which I am sure is influencing my sudden need to make sure Alex is "covered" in all areas, academically) and dealing with a kid who wakes up each morning with a finite amount of patience and productivity that depletes with each passing hour, I feel forced to come up with a more rigid plan of attack. Mind you, with only two work boxes completed today I can say the relaxed aspect of my homeschooling personality has kicked right in. We'll just finish them tomorrow. I am, after all, not truly on a deadline. And the whole point of this form of education was to keep Alex happy and engaged.

It is hard finding balance some days. As a mom and as a teacher/facilitator.

In constant preparation...

...these days! I am prepping Izzy for JK. Prepping myself for Alex's grade 1 year. Prepping the house for, well, kitchen renovation completion. Going through the house, sorting and finding material, trying to organize (maybe even clean) because August will be over in a flash. My prep this weekend is for camping! First time this summer. We are heading to Arrowhead Provincial Park with five other families - twelve kids in total. I am very excited. As are the kids though my mention of bears has Alex slightly on edge. It is our first time camping with people we know. Other kids, their friends, will be there to help keep them busy. Sweet :-)

I'll post after the trip. This weekend I am up to my eyeballs in groceries, laundry, camping equipment and fishing gear.

Summer is here!

It feels like I live in two different worlds sometimes. September through May is all about home schooling. The summer months are about more time with daddy, the neighbours and friends finally out for summer vacation. We do see some hs friends in the summer but not as often. It will change a little next year when we become parents of one kid in and one kid out.

So far, we have enjoyed swimming in backyard pools. Running around outside from morning until dinner, riding bikes, having Lego battles on the lawn or playing freeze tag or hide and go seek. Last night we joined two other neighbours and their families to an outdoor movie screening by the lake. We have a camping trip coming up. A Blue Jays game with Grandpa. A few weekend sleepovers with family. It is relaxed, informal and unorganized. Aside from going to the Y, Thursday swimming lessons being our only scheduled activity, we play everything by ear.

It is nice. For a while. But, before long I will be chomping at the bit and start working on the Fall schedule and curriculum. As much as I love the down time, I find life soothingly stimulating when it all gets going again.

Experiences of a virgin dance parent

There are many worlds that are foreign to me and nothing can be further out of my comfort zone than the world of dance. A seemingly benign thing, beautiful little children learning to dance. For the novice who neither participated in dance classes or knew others who did, I got one heck of a shock. Stage parents bribing their kids to dance better. Hundreds of dollars spent of costumes. Early photo calls for class pictures. 8am on a Sunday morning early. Two 5x7 pictures of my daughter for $40. Whenever I look at them I will remember the fight over her hair and make-up after I woke the poor child up for her early morning appointment. A line-up that began at 5:30am (I wish I was making this up) for a 6pm box office opening to purchase tickets for the dance recital(s)...at the low cost of $15/seat.

At the last class before the recital, the mothers were in the adjoining sitting room and laughing over all the money being spent with a high possibility of the girls getting on stage and doing nothing due to stage fright.

I was wondering what the heck we were doing there. Izzy just wanted to dance.


***Will post again in a few weeks about recital once I get the video back. She had a blast and wants to perform again! Maybe worth the headaches mentioned above.***

I guess this makes me the mean Mommy...

I have an Aunt and Uncle that refused to subscribe to cable and kept a little TV in a back room to watch occasional videos. When we were kids I thought my cousins were so deprived. Now I see the merits of life without it and we have been happily cable-free since February. I can't begin to explain just how much the lack of advertising has changed the kids. Other perks include more free play and reading. And since all their TV viewing has to go through the DVD player, I have much more control over content.

The kids haven't really clued in to the fact that they don't get Teletoon like their neighbours do. No, my struggle (and nomination for strict mommy award) comes from the battle over summer treats and this year my kids aren't taking it quietly.

I have always battled weight and work very hard (and spend a great deal of money) offering my kids fresh and nutritious food. I cook from scratch as often as possible. In fact, our 100% whole wheat bread is rising in the kitchen right now. The kids are allowed some treats. They eat McDonald's once or twice a month. They are far from hard done by. What I am pretty strict about are the kids not consuming soda, hard candies, gum and now that summer has arrived, freezies. I hate freezies. Kids eat them all day long under the guise of it being a harmless refreshing treat. Frozen sugar water with artificial colouring. To cool off. Grrrr.

Have you seen the size of some of these freezies? Longer than Izzy's arm! When offered these treats from well meaning neighbours and friends the kidlets are allowed to split a big one. Sometimes. Other times I just say no. It isn't easy though when 20 other kids are running around outside with their giant freezies.

I read an article that talked about the fact that kids tend to gain weight in the summer, even with all the running around because of the hotdogs, extra juice boxes and frozen treats. It is a real shame. My kids wouldn't even qualify as pudgy but I worry about the future. Food has been so altered. Kids eat fruit snacks instead of real fruit. Portion sizes are completely out of whack. Eating well is such an uphill battle when it should be so basic.

So if my kids are hot, they can have water. We'll break out the watermelon and strawberries. Of course we won't ban ice cream (nor could we, especially if you know Rob) but it will be, as they said on Sesame Street, a sometimes treat. I will not be buying freezies though. In fact, I bet if I dig to the bottom of my deep freezer, I can still find half a box worth from two summers ago when I felt bad about not offering them to the neighbourhood kids. I know we gave away more than we ate.

Someday the kids will happy for the choices we've made for them. For now I will just have to stick to my guns and use that age old argument used by our parents, and their parents before them - because I said so...

The 1950s Sitcom Mom

I have a new bread recipe, thanks to this book. I should have taken a picture of the two loaves I made yesterday but one was eaten up quite quickly and the other went to a friend. It was so easy to make and it reminded me of some old commercial where the mom was baking some instant thing in the kitchen but threw some flour on her shirt before she presented it to her family. You know, look like you slaved away all day and must be one hell of a chef to even pull it off.

Speaking of TV moms, I read a conversation online between stay-at-home moms and whether or not these women were doing a disservice to their children with the hot breakfasts and home-made cookies after school. It got me thinking about my kids, and more specifically, my daughter. I had not browsed this site in quite some time, and to be honest, really don't even think of myself as a sahm. Probably because we are rarely home, and when we are, we are busy with school stuff. Homeschooling feels like a job to me. At least in the sense that I do a lot of reading and prep work for the kids, not to mention all the time spent on arranging the calendar and activities.

It is funny how the 50s mom, with the pretty dresses and the perfectly groomed children and house are still such a big part of our consciousness. I suppose that this is the epitome of the sainted mother. Of course, now the bar has been raised even farther. One must also work, pull in a great salary at a great job and be the perfect mother, house keeper, etc... I couldn't fall further from the mark, nor would I ever strive for such an artificial and glazed lifestyle but my kids do have a little 'Leave it to Beaver' going on in their lives.

We snuggle and read under the covers when it is rainy outside and choose not to leave the house. I make, from scratch, most of their meals and treats. I am always around when they need to chat or want a hug. They have it pretty good but I wonder what they'll make of this when they grow up? I certainly hope they will look back fondly on their childhood. Will Alex expect his wife to whip up grand family meals or even stay home to educate their children? And Izzy? My mind is all a flutter wondering what kind of choices she'd make in the future.

I guess my first priority is for them to see they have choices. Yes, be prepared to work and take care of yourself, hopefully in a profession they enjoy. But also remember family is important and be at peace with the choices you make for your kids. I hope they see that gender roles can vary too. And that I stayed home for many reasons but first and foremost is because I want to be here. If Alex grew up and had a partner willing to work while he cared for the kids, I'd say more power to him.

Whatever happens, whatever they do, I hope I impart to them the notion that happy parents breed happy children. So work if that makes you happy. Stay home with the kids, if you are able and prefer. Just be happy.

Out of the Main Stream Loop

Rob and I had discussed getting rid of cable for quite a long time. We were going to do it before Christmas. Then the kitchen reno came up and we decided that having tv around to entertain the children wouldn't be the worst thing. I bit the bullet and canceled it at the beginning of February, and now, after approximately six weeks of living tv-free, I have to say, why did we not do that sooner!

Alex was an infrequent watcher. His problem was that he just wanted it on while he played and half listened/watched cartoons. Rob and I used to have it on for noise. There were a few tv shows we liked to catch but we didn't watch it all that much. Izzy, however, was a true blue addict. Turned the thing on as soon as she walked in the room. Begged to have it on all the time. Worse yet, unlike Alex, who started with the occassional Tree-House show (commercial free), she came into it when Alex had discovered the Disney channel and Nick Jr. Channels so horribly laden with commercials that Izzy was exposed to all kinds of crap marketing. And she was a most willing subject. It was I want this and I want that. I have to get this or we need that. Alex didn't beg for toys or cereal like this kid did. She was turning into a junkie and we needed extreme intervention.

And off it went. The first week was torture but they finally stopped asking for something to watch and eventually started initiating more play on their own. It was a crutch we could use when we were bored or taking a break. It forced all of us to think harder about how to entertain ourselves.

Alex, who was already a pretty avid reader, is now inhaling books at a freaky speed. Izzy too. The nice thing is that books have become their entertainment. Getting rid of TV was the one of the best things we've ever done. It is amazing how much time gets wasted in front of a screen.

I'm a slow learner

You know, every year I seem to have some sort of epiphany about the kids and how I am raising them. One year it was about all the stuff they were getting and not using. Another year it was about pushing them into peer activities that they were clearly not ready for. This year it is about doing all the stuff that school kids do - and not doing it anymore.

We have been to several over-hyped and over-rated Christmas functions already. Yes, the kids had fun. None of the activities broke the bank. Sure, it is interesting to see the kids in a setting where all the other kids are schooled and the parents have made themselves scarce. In the end though, it hasn't been worth it. Not the running around from place to place. Not the sugar highs that come with too many candy canes and sweet treats. Not the constraints it makes on our time.

Last week we saw Santa at the zoo and attended a community centre event with games and treats. Both were busy and crowded. Both were full of kids we didn't know. Both were not really worth repeating.

I wasn't thinking this year. Instead of stuff, I wanted the kids to have experiences. In the past, when Izzy was younger and we hadn't really sought out many other home schoolers, I wound up going to all sorts of crazy things. Events that usually cost a few bucks and where you would meet kids you were sure never to see. It made me feel like my kids were getting some *mainstream* experience that was otherwise lacking in their lives. Other kids get play-days at school or Christmas concerts. So we go to fun events filled with strangers to experience standing in line to wait for your turn to throw the bean bag or get a face painted.

Once again, I've learned a valuable lesson. It really is about quality time together - with family and with friends. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. It is not necessary to fill up every square on the calendar with experiences. Less truly is more.

Feel like rambling...

I saw something online that got me thinking. A hs mom was asking how to cope with her 4 year old wanting to go to real school. This was something we encountered last year. For us the issue had more to do with living in a fairly condensed neighbourhood with, surprisingly, 4 boys (he knew and played with) going into JK at the same time and a few more heading to SK and 1, all to the same school just down the street. Obviously he felt a little left out. Then there was the August/September back to school hype and all the adults - from the supermarket check-out girl to the waiter serving us at a restaurant, asking if he was excited to be going to school?! It was a challenge.

It didn't help that it was our first official year home schooling and I was more than a little nervous. I was new at explaining it to people and those around us were just becoming aware of our venture. We persevered. Alex reconnected with home school friends. We tried to just relax and have fun. It was a long winter but we managed. Even in our toughest moments, Rob was there to cheer us on and remind me why we were doing what we were doing.

What a difference a year makes. This year we are all on board - completely. Alex didn't even ask about school. He saw his friends enthusiasm fade dramatically after September. More than a few of them let him know how lucky they thought he was. We have expanded our home school network, more friends, more classes, more fun. Izzy is older and now a bigger part of our activities. We no longer have to wait until she is in bed to do a science experiment or read a book without pictures. She wants to learn everything Alex learns.

So, when I think of that mom, I think that the most important part of keeping the kids happy with home schooling is to make them a part of the process. Have them become invested. We are a part of many activities but they are tailored to the kids and their interests. Alex isn't big on competitive group sports, so we just don't sign him up for the local soccer league. Izzy loves girly pink things and dancing, so she does ballet. They have both home school and neighbourhood friends, and contrary to some lore regarding kids who are home schooled, are not at all socially inept. They attend classes and group events. They have a lot of say over what we learn and how much time we spend doing it. We don't spend a lot of time talking about school. We talk about learning. We talk about our values, as a family. We talk about kids, ours specifically, and that we don't think Alex should be held back a bit in certain areas (like reading and comprehension where he is years ahead) and pushed too quickly in others (like writing, which he hates). They work at their own pace and are glad for it.

I think we are just a more confident lot this time around. We survived that first big leap. We kept Alex out of school and got through the loss of experiencing that first day of school (which I admit gave me quite a few pangs) and came out the other end just fine. Better than fine, actually. Happy.

Will I feel the pangs again next September when Izzy should be heading off to JK? Maybe, though to a much lesser extent I think. She does ask about school more often these days. She has a model of another system right before her eyes though, so I don't think it will be a big issue. I've always said, and I stand by this, that someday when they kids are old enough (don't ask me what that age is yet because maturity matters to me more than chronological age) and had a valid argument for them to attend a bricks and mortar school we would comply. The challenge for me, I suppose, is to meet their needs as best as I can so that they don't feel like they are missing out on anything.

All in all, we are thrilled with our decision. We make a lot of choices for our kids that they aren't always happy with or understand. That is our job and we do it with the best of intentions. So for that mom who worries about the child who wants school, I say wait a while and work with your child to make the life that makes you both happy. I am not a teacher or a dictator. I am an adviser to my children and an advocate. This is why they desperately need to be invested in the process. I can get the information to them, or help them find it but they need to be the ones to take it in. I can find the children for them to play with but they need to make the friendships. I can offer up programs and activities but they have to want to participate. One of the greatest things about home schooling your children is that you know them like no others can. A tailor made education is right there for the picking. Young children can't understand this but they will, eventually. Real school, or wanting to experience it, is not the enemy. It may very well be the right fit for her child someday, or even one or both of mine. Accept it for what it is. For now it is just the whims of a young child who doesn't even know what school is.

Oh, to be so joyful and free!

Is there anything in the world as glorious as the pure, unadulterated bliss children possess over the simplest things in life?

Take yesterday, for example, when it snowed with that wet, slushy, messy weather - compounded by gale force winds that make all the adults shivery and not just a little bit grumpy. After all, we know its too soon to break out the winter coats seeing the temperature will go up tomorrow. Or so we hope as said coats are also crammed in the trunk and will be rushed to a dry cleaners asap because you forgot to do it earlier. Traffic, of course, slows to a crawl everywhere you go, and it seems you are not the only one at the store who decided now would be a good time to pick up some winter boots for the kids. Actually, you are one of a crowd that is eerily reminiscent of the hordes of Christmas shoppers who will descend upon the malls directly after Remembrance Day. Only then do you remember you face months of scrunching, tucking and fussing over puffy winter coats that don't conform to car seats, missing hats and gloves that fight against the invasion of tiny little fingers.

And what are the little imps doing while you mutter silent curses about the weather under your breath? They are running around in circles, catching flakes with their tongues. Singing, heaven help me, Christmas songs and asking me how much longer they have to wait before they can break out the toboggan. They are thrilled right to the core of their itty bitty little beings.

I must admit, it is all a little infectious. I push aside my gripes over weather I still insist must not be mentally prepared for until after Halloween - at least and, beyond all reason, get a little excited myself.

If nothing else, the look on the waitresses face at Denny's last night was worth being subjected to the exuberance from my little munchkins. When asked how the weather was outside, Alex exclaimed, "It's snowing! Winter is finally coming! Isn't that wonderful! I am sooo happpy!" I guess my kids' enthusiasm can only spread so far, for she indeed did not look at all thrilled that winter was coming and could only shake her head at him. He didn't notice though. He was too busy discussing the merits of winter with Izzy.

Cheers and Jeers!

I have been trying to get downstairs to the computer for days now. Rob got me a little EEEpc to roam around the house with and while it is more than adequate to check email or tool around online, I can't get to my photos unless I use the big one downstairs.

Looking back on the week I can only shake my head at the erratic adventure I can only call my life. I thought about that old column they used to put in magazines, yay to this and nay to that. Feels like something I can work with. Here is a sampling of where the last week took me:

Happy to have finally decided on, and ordered, Alex's math curriculum. Couldn't decide between Singapore and Miquon so I chose both. Feeling pretty Mathy this week.

Sad to cope with a break-up in the family and the way it is being handled.

Group lessons and activities are going really well. This week I actually recognized what Alex's art project was supposed to be, lol! Sad that I partially goofed on arrangements for a hs activity and left a few families out in the cold. This is difficult for fastidious, perfectionists like me.

Happy to be busy...love, love, love having my own car...but a bit sad that I actually seem to have less time alone. Will need to reevaluate schedule soon to carve out mommy-only time.

Thrilled Thanksgiving, Halloween and Izzy's birthday are almost here. Stunned at how little on my weekend list is getting done with no reprieve in sight. Sometimes time moves too quickly.

Bad week on condo board followed by great week on condo board. For something I absolutely did not want to be on I seem to have taken a lead role in it and, thankfully, good changes are happening. Phew!!!

Happy that within a month I have a preschooler and my baby/toddler days will be naught but memories! (Smiling too much at this thought.) Annoyed that Izzy can't stop talking about her birthday and what she wants (really, I can't remember Alex bugging us for so many presents) and sad that I forgot the terrible 2's are nothing to the, shall we call it, more challenging 3's.

Lastly, YAY for politics! Canadian and American, though I am much more enraptured by the political process with our Southern neighbours. This feels exciting and big. Even Alex can't stop talking about Obama. Sadly, Nay for poor Robbie who hates this whole process, is sick to death of CNN, and can't wait for it to be over. He's just happy that I don't want to go into local politics myself, though he wouldn't put a lot of money on me sitting on the sidelines forever. Lucky for him home schooling takes up too much of my time as it is.

That, my friends, is a small morsel of the way things were this week.

One Of These Moms is Not Like The Others

I sometimes forget that I am the odd one in a room. Many of my opinions and beliefs do not gel with the popular masses, and I am completely cool with that. In that vein, since most people around me are similarly minded (at the very least, respectful of the choices I make) I am often surprised by what I hear when out and about.

I took Izzy to dance class this weekend. I was dying to see her dance. She talks about it all week long, begging to go back. I met her teachers, fellow classmates and the dance moms. There was the mom yelling through the glass at her 3 year old for forgetting the moves they had practiced so faithfully. There was the pack of competitive moms, attempting to garner sympathy from one another over the wicked schedules their preschoolers had. I mean I could barely refrain from sneering or rolling my eyes. These kids (at least two of whom attend full day preschool) are being dragged from ballet and jazz to swimming lessons, gymnastics, skating lessons...etc. I mean really, does society really need such well rounded toddlers?

These moms were stressed and frazzled. They complained of fatigue, exorbitant costs and less than cooperative children. I mean, come on. Am I the only one who finds this absurd? Sure my kids do a lot of activities but we don't do school so we can take part in many activities and still have plenty of down time.

Sometimes I feel so out of place.

ROM Day

I love the Royal Ontario Museum. It is one of those places that just make us happy. Back when we lived in Toronto we had a family membership we would go at least twice a month or sometimes more, especially in the dead of winter. We didn't have a great morning and by noon I knew we just needed to blow off to the city for some fun. Since we hadn't been back to the ROM since last Christmas and had a few free passes on hand, we figured what the heck.

I knew I had a kindred spirit in Alex. We could spend hours mulling over artifacts together. Every collection fascinating in their own way. We have our favorites, of course. The dinosaur and early mammal area is a real treat. I feel like a little kid standing next to these beautiful giants. Egypt is another favorite. That collection spun off a lot of unit-study type activities for us a year ago. Alex spent months obsessed with all things Egyptian. He learned how to write his name in hieroglyphics. He learned how to make a mummy (and experimented with an apple). He has touched on the geography, language and history of this period. It was real meaty stuff and a lot of fun.

Today was special for me in another way. I got to experience the ROM with Izzy in a way that I couldn't when she was younger. I never give this kid enough credit. It's almost like she just tags along for the ride and picks up scraps along the way. Today she wanted to know the names of the dinosaurs and what they ate. We studied the honey bees together. She spent a half hour at a computer and listened to bird calls while I read her the species names. Better than that, she actually took the computer and moved the cursor with the mouse to the sound icon and made it work all on her own. No help from me, thank you very much.

When your first child is quite precocious and verbal you stand up and take notice right away. Then you spend an awful lot of time enriching their environment and presenting new material to keep them going. I've told friends that the difference in parenting these two kids can be best summed up this way. When Alex was born I was constantly reading the baby books, waiting for him to reach the next milestone. By the time Izzy came around I had given most of the books away and whenever she reached a milestone I was caught completely off-guard and convinced it was much to soon to have done (X, Y or Z)...wasn't it? This is what homeschooling is like for us. Alex and I could see a milestone coming, like reading, and we worked towards it. Not fanatically or anything. Just that there was an awareness and eagerness to see it all coming together. Izzy can learn to count to 20 and I'll be like, huh, you knew that?! Actually she can count to 11 but continues on to 20 in a very funny way. She always stops at 20 though.

It really was a lot of fun today. After work, Rob joined us and we went to our favourite noodle place and browsed a few used book stores. So it wound up being pretty perfect day in the end.

Well Rounded Kids

Posting about the kids art class got me thinking. I love art but really wouldn't call myself artistic. I love music but can't sing at all (Rob's says it isn't truly tone-deafness just a genuine lack of talent...nice guy, eh? LOL).

So, I've started asking myself the question, what will make the kids well-rounded and how much effort should I really put into it? By that I mean what will I really require my kids to pursue and to what degree.

I an a big proponent of child-led learning. I am also of the opinion that a variety oft ideas, situations and opportunities must come across the path of these homeschooled children - and that rarely happens spontaneously.

The arts are very important to me. I think good music and art are food for the soul. I would like to help them acquire an appreciation and understanding, to whatever level they choose. There will be music lessons, art classes and trips to concerts and museums.

Physical education is a no-brainer but we do not go about this in the way schools do. Or at least did, back in my day. Alex isn't big on group sports. He gets a little over excited and his attention span wanes quickly. He also does not have a competitive spirit. He has shown an interest in tennis, and (hopefully) will take it up next summer with Rob. He runs, swims, hikes and dances. Izzy is more interested in group sports. She loves the to work out the rules of the game. She loves that everyone has a part. So we'll find homeschool gym classes, take swim lessons and hopefully teach the kids how to skate. Whatever they do, I just want to see them carry it forward to adulthood. Good physical health habits will stay with them for life.

I want to give them opportunities to try out things they like. It wouldn't hurt to have them try out new experiences, even those they aren't necessarily drawn to.

Top 5 Moments in Parenting

A post on a parenting website got me thinking. People were trying to come up with their best moments in parenting. A way to remind ourselves why we slug it out, everyday, in the trenches with these little rugrats. So Rob and I sat on the couch tonight, reminiscing about the good times, reminding each other of a few things we forgot. We excluded the obvious ones like births, holidays and firsts. Here's what we came up with, not necessarily in order of importance.


Izzy's first marshmallow roast. She refused to eat them but laughed like a demon possessed while setting them on fire and watching them burn. The highlight of her first camping experience.

Meteor shower last summer in the backyard. It was about 2am and I had just finished baking some homemade bread. I woke Alex up, tucked him in a warm blanket and we snuggled on a lawn chair eating hot bread smothered with butter. When I asked if he had any wishes he said "...only to have this hot yummy bread everyday".

Baking soda bomb experiment. With an insane amount of sandwich baggies on hand (one of the many hazards of shopping at Costco), and ample supply of baking soda and vinegar, we armed more than a dozen eager kids in the neighbourhood, not to mention their equally exuberant parents, with homemade explosives. I don't think we parents had ever laughed that much together with the kids still up and without any alcohol involved. Hmmm...science=fun.

Tickle fights while mom and dad laze in bed. Usually instigated by those incorrigible tickle fingers. After all these years you would think the kids would figure out that a request from the TF-leader for a bellybutton conference is never a good idea.

Wacky car conversations. Such as Alex (newly 3) "tactfully" interrogating his aunt about a recent break-up. A chorus with silly variations on row, row, row your boat which lead to an interesting explanation in which Alex (4) explained how one might go about rowing a monkey up a stream in a most shocking manner. Recently, Alex (5) and Izzy (2) discussing family trees, as it pertains to the Star Wars saga, and why women die in childbirth. Izzy (2) after being asked if she would like to take dance lessons, "Do I get new shoes?" ...and countless others we can't recall off hand that have shocked and amused.

Ah, that felt good. Nothing like warm fuzzy memories to help you forget this evening's food fight with your two year old.