Left To Their Own Devices

Leaving Blogger...Still Blogging

2010-05-04T16:12:00.002-05:00

My old blog at the new site: Left to Their Own Devices

I've been a little frustrated with Blogger lately. Hiccups in posting text and pics. Plus, to my eyes, the layout doesn't feel as polished here as it does at WordPress. I am a big fan of changing things up from time to time and thought I'd give this new spot a go. Titles the same. All the old posts have been exported. Hope you will join me.

I'll keep this kicking around for a bit until I get everything where I want it to be. I'll only be updating through my WP site though.

A Big "Thank-You" to Aunt Kelly

2010-05-03T08:13:00.003-05:00

Kelly gave Alex The Big Book of Gross Stuff, by Bart King, for his birthday. It has become a bible of sorts. He is constantly quoting parts of the book to us:

"Did you know that if you eat fatty foods, your poop floats?"

"Did you know some woman drank her own puss?"

"Did you know that Vikings used pee to clean sheep's wool?"

And on and on and on...

Without fail, we are almost always eating when he decides it is time to discuss this book. It is fairly standard for us to tell Alex that there is to be no discussion of the gross stuff book at the dinner table. This obsession is going on for over 2 months now and even though he has read it from cover to cover, he still carries it around, giggling while he flips through over and over again.

So thank you Kelly. And Mr. King too, I suppose. You've thoroughly entertained the boy and grossed us out at the same time.

Just Thinking

2010-04-28T14:04:00.002-05:00

It was this time last year that we started getting Izzy ready for school. Registering her with the school and attending some orientation stuff. Mentally prepping ourselves. Getting enthusiastic even.

What a difference a year makes!

I have some opportunities popping up for next September (I know, already!) and went back to read old posts from the previous Septembers, checking out what we were up to, reminiscing. The ones from last year are still upsetting to read. We were such a mess. While I hate the path we had to take, I am thrilled with where we have wound up.

So, last year we were prepping for school, making sure her skills were up to par and working with her to get ready for upcoming changes. Now we are in a whole new place with homeschooling. We are very comfy in our skin and feel we are exactly where we ought to be. The kids are happy to be homeschooling and school is a brief, distant memory.

I am looking forward to the rest of Spring and a relatively angst-free summer. In a cool turn of events, the pioneer village school program Alex participated in last year is happening again this September. Aside from the stress of last September, it was the one thing both Izzy and I lamented missing. It feels like an amazing do-over.

Canadian Air & Space Museum

2010-04-25T11:48:00.006-05:00

We took a field trip on Friday to Downsview Park in Toronto. They have an airplane museum there and since we are doing a topic on flight for the next co-op, we thought a class trip would be a lot of fun. It wound up being one of the best field trips I've ever done. Here it is in photos:

This gentleman with Alex is named Philip Gray and he was at the museum doing a book signing for his book Ghosts of Targets Past. He was a pilot on a Lancaster Bomber, one of the planes being restored at the museum. He spoke with us for a few minutes and brought out some old maps to show us where he had been in WW2. We picked up the book to read together at home.

It was a great day! The staff was fantastic with our group. The kids got to ride in a simulator, flew the foam airplanes they put together after lunch outside the hangar, went on a scavenger hunt and saw a lot of cool stuff. I can't recommend this place enough.

Izzy eats a hamburger!!!

2010-04-25T11:30:00.003-05:00

Its a miracle! She has never eaten a burger before. Not once. She always turned her nose up at them. Rob isn't a burger guy either and he has never eaten a burger for longer than I've know him. Well, I made homemade burgers last night and they loved them! I just had to share my recipe. I based it on a box of frozen gourmet burgers I saw last year but never picked up.

Portobello Swiss Beef Burgers

Lean ground beef (I think I used over a lb but I bought it in bulk.)
2 eggs
Chopped up bits from 2 or 3 lg portobello mushrooms (I even used the gills & stems.)
App. 1/4 cup of italian bread crumbs
Chives
Oregano
Sauteed onions and garlic
Worchestershire sauce
Asiago cheese (freshly grated)
Parmesan cheese (freshly grated)

I worked all the ingredients together in a large bowl. I can't say how much I used of the spices, cheese or onions. I just toss it all in as I go along. My family is used to extra garlic in everything.

Grilled on the BBQ. Toasted some whole wheat buns. Added a couple slices of swiss cheese to the meat when cooked and let them melt before serving.

It was the best burger I've ever had. I like the savory flavours so we just ate them as was - no ketchup or mustard. Lettuce, or better still, spinach would have been a good addition but they were quite perfect bare.

Homeschooling is Easy

2010-04-19T20:41:00.003-05:00

This was posted on a parenting site I frequent. I copied it from The Link - The Nation's Homeschooling Magazine. There is so much truth in this article, I just had to post it. I am only three years in but I can't begin to even explain how painful it is to watch the newest homeschoolers suffer through fear and doubt. The general population at large would be so shocked if they knew just how easy it was.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me At The Beginning

by Kim Kimble

When I first began home educating ten years ago I was very nervous. In part this fear was because everyone was always so positive about home education that I sometimes felt like I was buying snake oil. I searched for the negatives and couldn't find anyone to talk about them (well, other than the NEA, whom I didn't trust anyway). This is, in as honest a form as I can say it, what I wish someone had told me. My advice to new homeschoolers is as follows, take from it what makes sense for your family, leave the rest.

1. Relax, have fun, enjoy each other. This is my one mandatory suggestion.

2. Be a facilitator.
I make an effort not to be a teacher. Instead, I try to facilitate learning by providing resources, opportunities, information, materials, and sometimes suggestions. I also try to mentor, but I have been most successful when I have arranged for others to mentor my children on specific topics.

3. Be a student or co-learner.
A child who learns to teach is forever altered as a learner. Even a young child has something s/he can teach. As children step into this role they have increased respect for the imparting of information as well as a heightened awareness of the value of information. Our current educational system is set up with a division between learners and teachers.

A homeschooling community or family of learners, where adults are on par with the children, has synergy not found elsewhere. Some of my favorite homeschooling memories are of being taught the crawl stroke by a twelve-year-old in green goggles and being the most challenged student at a 10-year-old's Irish step-dancing workshop.

4. Role model what you want to see in your children.
If we want to raise lifetime learners we must be lifetime learners. Children need to see us reading, writing, taking new classes, accepting challenges, questioning, researching, and creating. Over time, as we challenge ourselves to be what we want our children to become, home education becomes a lifestyle instead of an educational philosophy.

5. Talk to other homeschoolers about their educational style.
There are as many ways to homeschool as there are people home educating. Some unschool, some have small schools in their homes, most are somewhere in between. Take from conversations with those, what makes sense for you and your child.

6. Define your goals in writing.
There have been many times over the years, when my husband and I have worried and had “lively discussions" about the education of our children. In our case it was often about where we were on the school-in-the-home/unschooling continuum. Having a predetermined set of goals for your child's education gives a bench mark which can greatly simplify the times when you are so caught up in the day’s progress (or lack of it) that you lose sight of the big picture. Take the time to put it in writing, refer back when needed.

7. No matter what type of homeschooling you choose, make sure you afford yourself of its advantages.
A women once asked me if I knew of any books which covered our area's local history. I told her, no, but there was a store ten minutes away, run by a local Native American whose mission in life was to share his knowledge of the local tribes. Additionally, she could walk to the original homes of our area's first European settlers and take a tour any day of the week. She told me she didn't have time to do field trips, she had to finish their prepackaged curriculum and just wanted a book which she could make her kids read.

Most often, the homeschoolers I have seen who fail, are the kind that try to replicate little schools in their home. Most homeschoolers I know do some "seat work," but in my opinion, to have workbooks and end-of-chapter questions be the main focus of the day ruins the real-world, authentic possibilities of a home-based education.

8. Find other homeschoolers for support.
During the long, wonderful, inspiring, and exhausting days ahead, the support of other home educators can help you work through the challenges and share the joys of your triumphs. Giving and receiving support from fellow home educators can be a great pleasure as well as a benefit. Places to look: Conferences, books, websites, homeschooling periodicals, local support groups, and e-mail lists.

9. If you live in a state that requires reporting, know the laws better than the people to which you report. Many homeschoolers don't understand the regulations and rely on the school or state officials for answers. Without exaggeration, I have been given misinformation from school officials more often than accurate information.

Equally important, provide only the minimum information required by law. When I first began, I spent hours writing pages of information with each quarterly submission. If I am honest with myself, I think my need to do this was because I thought that by illustrating the wonderful job I was doing I would single-handedly convince the powers-that-be that homeschooling was a great alternative. I was probably also still trying to convince myself. Anything other than the basics required by law is a waste of time and can cause trouble for other homeschoolers as well.

10. Don’t spend a lot of money on curriculum. This advice is difficult for new homeschoolers. It is like having only eaten at one of those national-chain buffet restaurants for every meal of our lives. As a result, we have trouble visualizing the taste of Thai food or fresh-squeezed orange juice. Our instinct is to go out and buy an expensive prepackaged curriculum which sometimes includes a grading service, because that structure is all we have ever known and it feels safer. If using a prepackaged curriculum helps you sleep at night, by all means buy it, but only with the intention of using it as a flexible guide.

After ten years of homeschooling, I’ve learned the number one item in our homeschooling tool kit is the library card. (OK, really it is the car, but that is another story.) Sit down with the kids and ask them what they want to learn about and then use library skills to find that information. Follow their lead. When that topic loses its appeal jump to another. One example of a homeschooling day: We do about 15 formal math problems approximately three times a week using mostly Saxon Math. We also do a little phonics from a workbook, because reading and spelling are still a challenge for my nine-year-old daughter, but we wouldn’t if these topics came easily. Everything else is just living our lives and following our interests. Social studies, history, the arts, physical education, and science all come to us in various unexpected ways, but they do come, we are always busy. We don’t watch much T.V. or have a video game. This is what works for us this year, with this child. The only thing I can say about next year is that it will probably be different.

11. Keep track if you get nervous. Many homeschooling activities don’t lend themselves to the traditional methods in which we were educated. If the "Are they getting enough?" question begins ringing in your ears, observe and record: Make a grid listing all the subjects you think your student should be covering down the left side of a paper and the days of the week across the top (don’t forget the weekends). Next, fill in each activity you do in one of the squares.

If you talk about the Russian prime minister because of a cartoon in the newspaper, mark it down in the Social Studies square for that day. Pumpkin carving, Easter eggs: art. Bike riding, snowball fight: physical education. Chinese food for dinner: home economics, social studies, history, nutrition/health, geography. If the kids ask, "Why does the snow around the trees melt first?" This is science. If you have to look up the answer: library skills. Of course more traditional work is also included. At the end of the week you will sleep better when you realize how much they have actually covered. This system also helps with paperwork if you live in a state that requires reporting.

12. Be ready to change/evolve.
The beauty of homeschooling is that it can be altered easily. Be ready to admit something is not working and try a new approach. Society has little knowledge of the realities of homeschooling and few obvious examples of its results. As homeschooling parents, our views of homeschooling change as we educate ourselves by reading, talking, and experiencing homeschooling. In addition, our children mature and their view of their own learning also evolves.

13. The decision to home educate is not irreversible. Often when talking with potential homeschooling parents or homeschooling parents who are considering sending their kids to school, I remind them that few decisions can’t be modified if needed. I don’t advocate switching in and out of environments frequently, but a year at home or in school, if that is what is needed due to family situations or to just try something new, rarely causes lifelong permanent damage. It is not uncommon to talk with parents who are so caught up in the agony of decision making, they lose sight of the fact that this single decision need not decide the fate of their child’s entire life. If it doesn’t work out, change it.

14. Avoid sleepless nights. If you still feel nervous, talk frankly with other home educators about your challenges, i.e. a hormonal preadolescent student who treats the parent whom s/he just asked for help with math, very differently than s/he would a teacher in a school. Contrary to many of the glowing articles that you read about home education, all days are not perfect teaching bliss, neither are those of a public school teacher. But the fact that you are concerned means you care and will make sure your child gets what they need. If there isn’t a smidgen of uneasiness somewhere inside a new homeschooling parent, that is when I begin to worry.

15. Don’t be intimidated by homeschooling success stories. It is inspiring to read about homeschooling kids doing amazing things. However, after a few years, I was still homeschooling average kids, doing average things. I was putting a lot of energy into my kids and kept waiting for the “amazing” to kick in. I was sure I was doing something wrong.

One day I wrote a column about my son’s paper route -- pretty average stuff. As I wrote I began to make connections to all the things he had accomplished and done over the years as a result of his paper route. Eventually, I realized I was writing one of those amazing homeschooling success stories. He looked great on paper. Somehow, caught up in the day-to-day of getting him to pick up his socks, I had missed the “amazing.”

16. This is only one view of a home-based education. Keep searching.

Copyright 2010 by Modern Media. All rights reserved. a

Wow

2010-04-18T08:22:00.003-05:00

It is absolutely silent right now. Well, almost. The dryer is tumbling but it is a very soft, scratchy noise that oddly adds to this zen-like moment I am having. The living room is toasty warm. The sunlight is filling up the rooms. And there are no kids. Not one. This happens but once a week, when Rob shuffles the kids off to swim class.

Sure, it is an noisy ordeal getting them out the door. They come back home like a herd of cattle too. We are definitely going through a very noisy stage in parenting right now so this warm, bright and oh-so-silent room is as close to bliss as I'll come this week.

It just clarifies this intense need for mommy time. Alone time. Time to relax, reflect or (wouldn't it be awesome) write. The family is pretty good about leaving me alone to read a book or cook a meal but I am still aware of the din. The situation plays itself over and over again while I pretend not to notice, "...Mommy!", "Shush, Mommy is ---, what do you need?", "I need Mommy to...", "Well, I could have done that! Don't bother her now.". It could be either child - always with a need to get a glass of water, show me a paper cut or to just tell me something.

I love them to death. But breaks are nice. Going without them for a certain amount of time makes you forget you even need them - or how much. Once in a blue moon I get to hang out with Rob. Or friends. I rarely get to be alone though. I miss it a lot.

Spring has Sprung

2010-04-12T16:46:00.003-05:00

We've had quite a winter, in that it was completely non-existent. I shoveled only twice. Barely into April and my raspberry and rose bush are well on their way. I am chomping at the bit to get into the garden. A friend suggested sweet potato vines in the sunny corner. I want to extend the soil bed to give this year's crop of tomatoes more room and add herbs this year. The front needs a little attention too but since I won't have the money this year to change the storm door I am feeling less compelled to beautify the yard with the entrance looking so shoddy.

Inside there is much to do as well. I have a pretty ambitious set of goals. We'll see how far I get. Not off to the best start. I feel emotionally spent after dealing with the death of Rob's cousin last week. I hope that Rob gets a small reprieve at work too. Just one more thing that could keep us off track.

So, in the interest of the spirit of renewal, I hope to clean and purge my way through the contents of my life. Old clothes, books, toys and trinkets will have to go. I have this need to minimize the amount of stuff in my life. Live simpler and cleaner. May be a bit harder to get the kids on board though.

I would kill for a magic wand right about now.

Another Izzy Funny

2010-04-05T20:35:00.002-05:00

I am not sure what I did, exactly, though it certainly ticked Miss Iz off. She gave me her trademark sour look and said, "I hate you. I am going to write you a note too that I hate you. How do you spell that?"

I laughed, then spelled it out for her, I-H-A-T-E-Y-O-U, and smiled at Rob. Most of the time her little fits make me laugh. Most of the time. Passing me the note she said, "I really don't hate you. I love you a lot. But I hate you so here is the note. Except I love you. Hmppphh!" then spun around and walked away.

A few minutes later she made sure to tell me that yes she still loved me and that she loves all of us, because we are family and we have to love each other to live together.

My Izzy. What a character!!

The Night Mommy Duct-Taped The Couch

2010-04-03T23:45:00.002-05:00

If there ever comes a day when the kids wonder just what exactly I did for them, or what sacrifices I made for them I hope they read this and smile.

Our 11 year old leather couch which is well past its expiration date has been taped with blue duct tape. Why? Because there are rips and holes. The old duct tape is coming off. Your daddy is getting mad that his pants are sticky when he sits down. Thankfully I do most of the entertaining in the kitchen.

We really need a new couch. I'm sure we'll have one by Christmas. We need to do the flooring this summer. Paint, maybe. Still, for all the money I have forked out on French lessons, art classes and everything else under the sun, I could have had this room professionally decorated and then some.

You kids are so lucky.

For now we'll have to live with our patched up couch. I still need tires and a timing belt on our 8 year old car first. Just remember when you look through old pictures and see such oddities as this [picture to be added soon] that you two always came first. And likely always will.

Hug your Family

2010-03-31T20:40:00.002-05:00

My neighbout 2 doors down is at a major trauma centre waiting on the outcome of her husband's surgery. Yesterday a car pulled in front of his motorcycle and nearly took his life. He is 33 years old with two young children. At worst, he may not survive. At best, he has months, if not years of recovery ahead of him.

I feel just sick for them. I've experienced family traumas in the past and remember well all those hospitals, doctors and always, the uncertainty.

I made Rob promise he would never put me through that. Irrational, I know.

I Love 'The Onion'

2010-03-29T16:48:00.001-05:00

Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the U.S. Department of Education, an increasing number of American parents are choosing to have their children raised at school rather than at home.

Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller said that many parents who school-home find U.S. households to be frightening, overwhelming environments for their children, and feel that they are just not conducive to producing well-rounded members of society.

Thousands of mothers and fathers polled in the study also believe that those running American homes cannot be trusted to keep their kids safe.

"Every year more parents are finding that their homes are not equipped to instill the right values in their children," Miller said. "When it comes to important life skills such as proper nutrition, safe sex, and even basic socialization, a growing number of mothers and fathers think it's better to rely on educators to guide and nurture their kids."

"And really, who can blame them?" Miller continued. "American homes have let down our nation's youth time and again in almost every imaginable respect."

According to the report, children raised at home were less likely to receive individual adult attention, and were often subjected to ineffective and wildly inconsistent disciplinary measures. The study also found that many parents expressed concerns that, when at home, their children were being teased and bullied by those older than themselves.

In addition to providing better supervision and overall direction, school-homing has become popular among mothers and fathers who just want to be less involved in the day-to-day lives of their children.

"Parents are finding creative ways to make this increasingly common child-rearing track work," Miller said. "Whether it's over-relying on after-school programs and extracurricular activities, or simply gross neglect,† school-homing is becoming a widely accepted method of bringing children up."

Despite the trend's growing popularity, Miller said that school programs are often jeopardized or terminated because shortsighted individuals vote against tax increases intended to boost educational spending.

"The terrifying reality we're facing is that the worst-equipped people you could possibly imagine may actually be forced to take care of their children," Miller said.

Parents who have decided to school-home their children have echoed many of Miller's concerns. Most said that an alarming number of legal guardians such as themselves lack the most basic common sense required to give children the type of instruction they need during crucial developmental years.

"It's really a matter of who has more experience in dealing with my child," Cincinnati- resident Kevin Dufrense said of his decision to have his 10-year-old son Jake, who suffers from ADHD and dyslexia, school-homed. "These teachers are dealing with upwards of 40 students in their classrooms at a time, so obviously they know a lot more about children than someone like me, who only has one son and doesn't know where he is half the time anyway."

"Simply put, it's not the job of parents to raise these kids," Dufrense added.

Though school-homing has proven to be an ideal solution for millions of uninvolved parents, increasingly overburdened public schools have recently led to a steady upswing in the number of students being prison-homed.

A Movie and Some Chicks

2010-03-29T00:51:00.003-05:00

We took the kids to a 3D viewing of How To Train Your Dragon. I absolutely adored it. The kids liked it too. I had Alex read the book first and it turns out it was nothing like the movie.

Afterward we went to White Feather Farm, about a 1/2 drive South into the country. Aside from picking up some yummy food and fresh eggs, the kids got to hold on to baby chicks, an Easter tradition at the farm. They were cute little things.

They are Just so Darn Big!

2010-03-29T00:28:00.003-05:00

I really should be in bed but I can't sleep. Instead I will entertain myself musing about the kids and how gosh-darn-big they are getting.

This is a recent photo of my nephew Liam with Alex. Alex just turned 7 and Liam turns 7 in April. It is hard to believe how old these boys are getting.

Rob came downstairs this morning saying he had to let out the elastic liner in Alex's jeans from Old Navy. The elastic that holds up long pants on skinny kids. While Alex has never been skinny he still could always use a little support. Anyway, the pants Rob was referring to were the new, not-yet-used size 8 pair that I had picked up on sale and threw in the back of the closet. Size 8 pants! With his giant head he was already 8/10 in shirts but this...

It isn't surprising that they are growing. Just that it seems to happen over night. I just went through this with Izzy. Less than two months after refitting her closet with size 4 clothes, she jumped to a 5.

These kids are starting to cost me a fortune in clothing. Not once have we ever worn out clothes in this house. I now have a 7 year old boy who is 4 1/2 feet tall, about 70lbs with a little sister coming up on 4 feet and over 40lbs.

Sometimes they still ask me to snuggle with them like I did when they were babies. It is near impossible to do now and always reminds me of that book by Robert Munsch, Love You Forever, where the older mom cradles her growing son. It is hard to believe these are the kids I could once cradle in one arm.

Article Copied From Psychology Today

2010-03-24T12:17:00.004-05:00

When Less is More: The Case for Teaching Less Math in Schools
In an experiment, children who were taught less learned more.

[By Peter Gray, a research professor of psychology at Boston College, is a specialist in developmental and evolutionary psychology and author of an introductory textbook, Psychology.]

In 1929, the superintendent of schools in Ithaca, New York, sent out a challenge to his colleagues in other cities. "What," he asked, "can we drop from the elementary school curriculum?" He complained that over the years new subjects were continuously being added and nothing was being subtracted, with the result that the school day was packed with too many subjects and there was little time to reflect seriously on anything. This was back in the days when people believed that children shouldn't have to spend all of their time at school work--that they needed some time to play, to do chores at home, and to be with their families--so there was reason back then to believe that whenever something new is added to the curriculum something else should be dropped.

One of the recipients of this challenge was L. P. Benezet, superintendent of schools in Manchester, New Hampshire, who responded with this outrageous proposal: We should drop arithmetic! Benezet went on to argue that the time spent on arithmetic in the early grades was wasted effort, or worse. In fact, he wrote: "For some years I had noted that the effect of the early introduction of arithmetic had been to dull and almost chloroform the child's reasoning facilities." All that drill, he claimed, had divorced the whole realm of numbers and arithmetic, in the children's minds, from common sense, with the result that they could do the calculations as taught to them, but didn't understand what they were doing and couldn't apply the calculations to real life problems. He believed that if arithmetic were not taught until later on--preferably not until seventh grade--the kids would learn it with far less effort and greater understanding.

Think of it. Today whenever we hear that children aren't learning much of what is taught in school the hue and cry from the educational establishment is that we must therefore teach more of it! If two hundred hours of instruction on subject X does no good, well, let's try four hundred hours. If children aren't learning what is taught to them in first grade, then let's start teaching it in kindergarten. And if they aren't learning it in kindergarten, that could only mean that we need to start them in pre-kindergarten! But Benezet had the opposite opinion. If kids aren't learning much math in the early grades despite considerable time and effort devoted to it, then why waste time and effort on it?

Benezet followed his outrageous suggestion with an outrageous experiment. He asked the principals and teachers in some of the schools located in the poorest parts of Manchester to drop the third R from the early grades. They would not teach arithmetic--no adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing. He chose schools in the poorest neighborhoods because he knew that if he tried this in the wealthier neighborhoods, where parents were high school or college graduates, the parents would rebel. As a compromise, to appease the principals who were not willing to go as far as he wished, Benezet decided on a plan in which arithmetic would be introduced in sixth grade.

In 1929, the superintendent of schools in Ithaca, New York, sent out a challenge to his colleagues in other cities. "What," he asked, "can we drop from the elementary school curriculum?" He complained that over the years new subjects were continuously being added and nothing was being subtracted, with the result that the school day was packed with too many subjects and there was little time to reflect seriously on anything. This was back in the days when people believed that children shouldn't have to spend all of their time at school work--that they needed some time to play, to do chores at home, and to be with their families--so there was reason back then to believe that whenever something new is added to the curriculum something else should be dropped.

One of the recipients of this challenge was L. P. Benezet, superintendent of schools in Manchester, New Hampshire, who responded with this outrageous proposal: We should drop arithmetic! Benezet went on to argue that the time spent on arithmetic in the early grades was wasted effort, or worse. In fact, he wrote: "For some years I had noted that the effect of the early introduction of arithmetic had been to dull and almost chloroform the child's reasoning facilities." All that drill, he claimed, had divorced the whole realm of numbers and arithmetic, in the children's minds, from common sense, with the result that they could do the calculations as taught to them, but didn't understand what they were doing and couldn't apply the calculations to real life problems. He believed that if arithmetic were not taught until later on--preferably not until seventh grade--the kids would learn it with far less effort and greater understanding.

Think of it. Today whenever we hear that children aren't learning much of what is taught in school the hue and cry from the educational establishment is that we must therefore teach more of it! If two hundred hours of instruction on subject X does no good, well, let's try four hundred hours. If children aren't learning what is taught to them in first grade, then let's start teaching it in kindergarten. And if they aren't learning it in kindergarten, that could only mean that we need to start them in pre-kindergarten! But Benezet had the opposite opinion. If kids aren't learning much math in the early grades despite considerable time and effort devoted to it, then why waste time and effort on it?

Benezet followed his outrageous suggestion with an outrageous experiment. He asked the principals and teachers in some of the schools located in the poorest parts of Manchester to drop the third R from the early grades. They would not teach arithmetic--no adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing. He chose schools in the poorest neighborhoods because he knew that if he tried this in the wealthier neighborhoods, where parents were high school or college graduates, the parents would rebel. As a compromise, to appease the principals who were not willing to go as far as he wished, Benezet decided on a plan in which arithmetic would be introduced in sixth grade.

As part of the plan, he asked the teachers of the earlier grades to devote some of the time that they would normally spend on arithmetic to the new third R--recitation. By "recitation" he meant, "speaking the English language." He did "not mean giving back, verbatim, the words of the teacher or the textbook." The children would be asked to talk about topics that interested them--experiences they had had, movies they had seen, or anything that would lead to genuine, lively communication and discussion. This, he thought, would improve their abilities to reason and communicate logically. He also asked the teachers to give their pupils some practice in measuring and counting things, to assure that they would have some practical experience with numbers.

In order to evaluate the experiment, Benezet arranged for a graduate student from Boston University to come up and test the Manchester children at various times in the sixth grade. The results were remarkable. At the beginning of their sixth grade year, the children in the experimental classes, who had not been taught any arithmetic, performed much better than those in the traditional classes on story problems that could be solved by common sense and a general understanding of numbers and measurement. Of course, at the beginning of sixth grade, those in the experimental classes performed worse on the standard school arithmetic tests, where the problems were set up in the usual school manner and could be solved simply by applying the rote-learned algorithms. But by the end of sixth grade those in the experimental classes had completely caught up on this and were still way ahead of the others on story problems.

In sum, Benezet showed that kids who received just one year of arithmetic, in sixth grade, performed at least as well on standard calculations and much better on story problems than kids who had received several years of arithmetic training. This was all the more remarkable because of the fact that those who received just one year of training were from the poorest neighborhoods--the neighborhoods that had previously produced the poorest test results. Why have almost no educators heard of this experiment? Why isn't Benezet now considered to be one of the geniuses of public education? I wonder.

For decades since Benezet's time, educators have debated about the best ways to teach mathematics in schools. There was the new math, the new new math, and so on. Nothing has worked. There are lots of reasons for this, one of which is that the people who teach in elementary schools are not mathematicians. Most of them are math phobic, just like most people in the larger culture. They, after all, are themselves products of the school system, and one thing the school system does well is to generate a lasting fear and loathing of mathematics in most people who pass through it. No matter what textbooks or worksheets or lesson plans the higher-ups devise for them, the teachers teach math by rote, in the only way they can, and they just pray that no smart-alec student asks them a question such as "Why do we do it that way?" or "What good is this?" The students, of course, pick up on their teachers' fear, and they learn not to ask or even to think about such questions. They learn to be dumb. They learn, as Benezet would have put it, that a math-schooled mind is a chloroformed mind.

In an article published in 2005, Patricia Clark Kenschaft, a professor of mathematics at Montclair State University, described her experiences of going into elementary schools and talking with teachers about math. In one visit to a K-6 elementary school in New Jersey she discovered that not a single teacher, out of the fifty that she met with, knew how to find the area of a rectangle.[2] They taught multiplication, but none of them knew that multiplication is used to find the area of a rectangle. Their most common guess was that you add the length and the width to get the area. Their excuse for not knowing was that they did not need to teach about areas of rectangles; that came later in the curriculum. But the fact that they couldn't figure out that multiplication is used to find the area was evidence to Kenschaft that they didn't really know what multiplication is or what it is for. She also found that although the teachers knew and taught the algorithm for multiplying one two-digit number by another, none of them could explain why that algorithm works.

The school that Kenschaft visited happened to be in a very poor district, with mostly African American kids, so at first she figured that the worst teachers must have been assigned to that school, and she theorized that this was why African Americans do even more poorly than white Americans on math tests. But then she went into some schools in wealthy districts, with mostly white kids, and found that the mathematics knowledge of teachers there was equally pathetic. She concluded that nobody could be learning much math in school and, "It appears that the higher scores of the affluent districts are not due to superior teaching but to the supplementary informal ‘home schooling' of children."

At the present time it seems clear that we are doing more damage than good by teaching math in elementary schools. Therefore, I'm with Benezet. We should stop teaching it. In my next post--about two weeks from now--I'm going to talk about how kids who don't go to traditional schools learn math with no or very little formal instruction.

Izzy'isms

2010-03-23T22:07:00.002-05:00

Some gems I've been meaning to jot down. Some go back a ways, copied them from facebook.

On my birthday: Mommy its not fair that you and Alex have your birthdays near each other. I have to have mine with daddy. [insert pouty face] If you love me you will change it so our birthdays are together and Alex can go with daddy.

This morning after a particularly bad one, for all of us, as we are going out the door: (Alex) Mommy, I hope your days gets better! (Izzy) [Stomping her way past me] I don't!! That actually did make me laugh.

Last week: Mommy, how come I don't have back up dancers? I really need back up dancers!

In the car one day: She was telling Alex about a new game she invented: snatch-away. Her version of keep-away. She was mad when mommy and daddy wouldn't stop laughing.

Back in January: A child of the times? A computer/gaming addict in the making? (Izzy) Can E go on my sled with me tomorrow, even though it's not for 2 players?

How (Excessive) Reading Pays Off

2010-03-23T20:42:00.003-05:00

It is amazing what reading can do! I have been quietly tracking what the boy has been reading. Thanks to Mommy's crackdown on television and video games, and the fact that we were home most of last week, I counted over 60 books read by the boy. Some were Dr. Seuss books. He also likes to reread Geronimo Stilton or non-fiction fact books. Other titles included Rowan of Rin by Emily Rodda, How to Train your Dragon by Cressida Cowell, a few of from The Boxcar Children series, biographies of The Wright Brothers and Albert Einstein, The Big Book of Gross Stuff and many, many more.

I would guess he averages 30-40 books a week, my little speed reader. He is a true lover of literature. It is paying off big time!

This afternoon he came upstairs with a sign that said "Bos's Room" and asked if he had spelled it correctly. I told him he missed an S but was super impressed that he knew possession required an apostrophe. I never taught him that. Not in a sit down and learn grammar kind of way.

It got me thinking about many little things I have been noticing these days. His spelling has dramatically improved over the last few months. This boy, who would misspell a simple word six months ago is spelling words like "ready" without help. The mistakes he makes are not the ones I would expect either. Great was "graet" which he knew looked wrong even though he had the right idea. Not too long ago he would have written "grate" instead.

He reads so much that he now recognizes rules of writing and spelling without necessarily knowing what it is called or why he has to do it. Pretty decent stuff for a newly 7 year old boy. He is finally developing an interest in writing too. And with writing comes a new need to be able to decipher what he has written down. Last year if he wrote "kat came bak" he would know exactly what he wrote. Now the mistakes would bother him and he would see there were errors, even if he wasn't sure how to correct them.

Great things are happening. I really hope Izzy embraces books like her brother. We are off to a good start. She is very proud to be a beginning reader. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. reading has to be my absolute favourite milestone of all. So exciting!

A Conversation Upstairs

2010-03-19T18:30:00.002-05:00

There was a little bickering and then Izzy started crying. I didn't hear how it happened but the follow-up conversation had me cracking up!

Alex: "It was all my fault!"
Izzy: "No it was my fault."
Alex: "No, really it was all my fault!"
Izzy: "No, it was all my fault!"
Alex: "No, really, blame me..."

This went on for a few minutes, lol. Shortly after this was heard:

Alex: "You know if you say you can't do it than you can't do it. But if you think you can do it than you can do it. You have to think you can do it."

Izzy comes down the stairs a few minutes later and says to me, "I don't think I can clean my room by myself. Alex says I can't because I think I can't but I can. So I need to tell you the truth that I can't and I need help."

Oh, these kids crack me up. I told her to start with putting her dress up clothes away and than I would be right up to help her along. She shouted thank-you and was grinning ear to ear.

Funny, funny kids!

Alex's Birth Story - Part 2

2010-03-10T08:14:00.004-06:00

There was always a debate over when Alex was due thanks to our finding out about him in the second trimester. My due date moved around by a few weeks over the course of my pregnancy. Eventually I think it was settled on March 5, his actual birthday but I was induced on March 3, a Monday morning. The doctor was getting anxious about my blood pressure and since we weren't firm on the due date, he was worried about an overly late baby. The boy was always measuring quite large but did that mean he was older than we thought or just a big baby. Rob and his sister, after all, came in at 9lbs5oz and 9lb12oz respectively. To a very tiny mother no less.

Monday morning at 8am I walked into my doctor's office where he took one look at me and grunted something about hoping I had already gone into labour. He told me not to take my coat off, that he was calling the hospital and sending me in asap. I called a cab, went home to collect Rob and my hospital bag and we set off immediately for the hospital.

By 10am I was hooked up to an IV and then the wait was on. I wasn't dilated at all. It was going to take a long time. A really long time. A whopping 41 hours in the end.

We started off in a recovery room with a mom that was being sent for a c-section. We checked in before her but she had her surgery and new baby long before I was even a few centimetres dilated.

Once a birthing suite became available, I was moved. The drugs kept coming. Around 2 centimeters I had an epidural. This was well over 20 hours of labour at that point. I was exhausted and had no idea what was in store.

I went through several shift changes. At one point I sent Rob home to change, shower and nap. They filled the epidural machine three times! Finally, not long after midnight on March 5th a doctor came in to assess me, again, and get the ball rolling for a c-section. He had paperwork for us to sign, a gown for Rob to change in to. Unfortunately, they had just topped up my epidural and not very happy doctor was going to have to wait for the medicine to wear off before they could take me upstairs for surgery. I remember feeling relieved. Though I wanted what was best for the baby I remember feeling quite upset at the idea of going through 30+ hours of labour just to get cut open in the end.

Well, Alex had timing. A few hours later I half-woke to the nurses clucking with disapproving tones because I started pushing. On a lark, one checked me to see I was fully dilated and the baby was on his or her way. I was fully wakened by a glaring white light and tons of new activity in the room. About 2 minutes into pushing I gave up. I wasn't exactly coherent, time was some abstract idea and I felt like I had been at it for hours. I was completely convinced the baby was stuck and told everyone so. I am sure it was a funny thing at the time. Finally I was cajoled (by what seemed like 20 people) into trying again and he was born about 3 minutes later.

Next, I remember one of the doctors holding up a scrunchy-face baby, then the alarms went off and the babe was shuffled away. Poor Rob was beside himself. With the alarm came more doctors and much more activity. It may have been the drugs but I was very calm and had complete faith our son was going to be just fine. Rob struggled with wanting to stay with me and heading over to the crew working on Alex. I remember taking his hand and telling him I was okay, just go be with our baby.

There was one funny moment we'll never forget! Alex's labour took so long (and his blood pressure was diving near then end of his birth) that they were already worried before he came out. I think he pooped on his way out so meconium was a concern too. His colouring was just awful. Yet his vitals were fine. They kept looking at him, checking his vitals (which were perfect) and shaking their heads in confusion. Eventually a nurse turned towards me and the next words heard were, "well look at the mom...she is gray too..." Poor pasty little man.

After all the fuss with his birth, everything had turned out just perfectly. Sadly I was one of the last people to hold my boy but his dad was by his side the whole time. He was taken, as a precaution, to the neonatal room for observation. It took more than five hours to have him in my arms. In that time I relaxed, chatted with the nursed and ate a little. Eventually I got to shower, visitors came and went...the whole day passed quickly. Just before midnight, still on March 5th, I passed my little Alex to Rob and complained about feeling quite ill. While settling back into the bed we realized that I had been up and about, without so much as a nap, since I had given birth more than 20 hours earlier! I got a little sleep that night and was finally discharged around lunch on Thursday March 6th.

The boy came into this world at 7lbs 15oz. A crabby nurse who was upset that I wasn't breast feeding him and must not have realized we were feeding him with formula we brought from home took him after chastising me for not feeding him enough. She told us he was going to get weighed and if he lost too much weight than we wouldn't be going home that day. Well, she sheepishly brought back our boy who had actually gone up to 8lbs 2oz. Seven years later, I can say this growth trajectory hasn't slowed one bit.

So that is how our boy came to be with us. It was an adventure. I haven't forgotten very much about that day. Hard to believe so much time has passed.

A little late...but Happy Birthday Alex!!

2010-03-10T07:32:00.004-06:00

We had the family over on Sunday to celebrate Alex's 7th birthday. I made him a LEGO Atlantis underwater birthday cake. He was happy with it! He was happy for two reasons, he told me. The first because now he was more than half way to being a teenager. (Made me kind of miss the birthday where he cried because he was getting older and never wanted to leave home, lol!)
The second because he got a raise on his allowance on his birthday. They get their age in dollars every two weeks - or half their age a week, depending on how you want to look at it. I just find it easier to pay them when Rob gets paid.

So, now I have a seven year old boy and I couldn't be prouder! I adore this kid, which I know every mom says, but he is just such a kind-hearted boy and a treat to be around. His aunt gave him two books for his birthday and he jumped up and down like he had just been told he was going to Disney. He is always so gracious and considering how spoiled he is, he takes little for granted.

I know I did a birth story for Izzy and would like to try and piece together the fragments of my memories from Alex's birth. I am in between computers right now and when I regain access to my photos I'll post one of the not so teeny, tiny boy as a newborn.

To say that finding out we were expecting Alex was a surprise would be an understatement. Eight years ago I sat in a doctor's office being told how difficult it would be for me to get pregnant and that I needed to go home and decide when we were going to start pursuing aggressive options. I was 27, so it wasn't a dire situation but there wasn't a lot of time to lose. My doctor didn't want me coming back at 35 feeling like I had really missed the boat.

I went home, had a good cry and Rob and I decided we would do what we needed to do when the time came. Some fertility treatments, perhaps look into adoption if that didn't work. At any rate, we were still going to wait another year or two before we proceeded with any plan.

Several weeks later I was talking to my pharmacist, talking about my PCOS and why the birth control wasn't regulating my period as it had done in the past. She told me to grab a pregnancy test so I could officially rule it out when I went back to the doctor. Sure thing!!

When I got home that night I told a distracted husband that I was taking a pregnancy test, hardy-har-har, and that if he heard a scream and a thud he should come check on me. Well, a few minutes later there was more of a yelp and a whole lot of "Oh My Gods" going on. Rob came running towards me having totally forgotten (or not even heard) what I had said to him and only registered what I was saying when I started waving the pee stick in his face. I totally freaked out. I couldn't have been less prepared for that possibility.

I was up all night googling possible reasons a pregnancy test would come back positive because I couldn't possibly be pregnant. As soon as the stores were open, I was at the front door with a full bladder to purchase another couple boxes of tests. All of which told me the same thing. I was pregnant!

It was a Friday morning in August, which I remember because I begged to see my doctor that afternoon and my blood work wouldn't come back quickly because it was the weekend. She did immediately book an ultrasound just to see what was going on. On my way to that Friday afternoon appointment I remember telling Rob that I would call if she heard a heartbeat, thinking what a great joke that was. If only I had known...

So I was pregnant and had no idea how far along I was. We had the ultrasound booked a week after discovery. Well, not only was there an audible heartbeat but the screen showed us a very well developed baby - around 18 weeks along. We were dumbfounded! Into the second trimester without even knowing I was pregnant. Heck, I was pregnant the day the doctor told me I may never even have kids!

He was the easiest pregnancy. Never gave me a problem until the end when he didn't want to come out. Since this post has gotten so long I will leave his birth day for another post. It is nice remembering. Feels like a million years ago though.

Not Feeling Bloggy Lately

2010-03-09T16:03:00.002-06:00

I have a ton of posts to catch up on. Birthdays have come and gone. Activities are about to take a short break. Rob's been ramping up at work again.

Anyway, I will hopefully post a lot next week. I have new incentive too. The nice delivery man dropped off my new hp laptop today. After I finish 'tweaking', I should be ready to get this puppy to work.

A Birthday and Some Gratitude

2010-03-01T11:55:00.003-06:00

I turn 35 today. Half way to 70 is the big joke around here. I can no longer deny that if I am not "middle aged" now, I am certainly on my way. I am happy today. Not just because it is my birthday but because life just seems pretty swell all the way around. I've had a fair share of bumpy years so I will gladly embrace this feeling.

In this vein, I want to list some of which I a grateful for:

My kids are happy, healthy and thriving.

Rob loves his job (most of the time) and is succeeding in ways we never imagined. He is being groomed at work for bigger things to come and just got managements approval to change 50% of his job to something he found lacking in the company. Great things are coming his way.

The kitchen reno is almost done. After a year long break, the details are being tended to and I must say the final picture is stunning!

I feel healthier than I have in years. I am down about 20lbs and counting. I need to exercise even more and am working on this around hubby's more hectic schedule.

I have a lot of great people in my life. Homeschoolers, neighbours, old friends and new...I have a lot of support and people to turn to when I need it. Friends are truly what keep you going!

Homeschooling is about 90% of what I imagined it to be way back in the early days of deciding to head down this road. In the last three (official) years of homeschooling the kids are learning what I had hoped they would learn and surpassed in some areas. I imagined time for family dinners and lounging on the bed reading great books. I imagined the kids taking music lessons, art classes and hanging with their friends. All of this is happening just like I had hoped. We are living the life we had hoped to create, which is awesome!

Life is good right now. Everyone has their share of bumps along the road but I am glad I can see the good times for what they are and just be happy.

Another Milestone!

2010-02-28T00:32:00.002-06:00

Izzy brought me a BOB book today, Dot, and wanted help reading. Well, she managed about 80% on her own and we were both thrilled! She is well on her way now.

To celebrate reading her first book, mommy's birthday on Monday (and the fact that we are in the final stages of kitchen disaster - the backsplash went up yesterday) we walked across the street to Swiss Chalet.

My baby is growing up.

Free-Range Mama in Training

2010-02-16T15:30:00.003-06:00

Izzy wasn't feeling well this morning so my hectic Tuesday turned into a very relaxing day. I spent some time reading some articles on sites that I haven't been to in a while. One of them was FreeRangeKids and it reminded me of a recent situation.

I signed Izzy back up for dance at the Y. They have a pretty terrific schedule during the week. In theory, I could drop Izzy off for 45 minutes of dance and then a volunteer would come collect her from the studio and bring her (and the other kids) to the big gym to play for an hour. Alternately, Alex spends 45 minutes in the gym and then can come to dance for an hour. Now Izzy is still coping with some separation anxiety so I have to stay for dance and we skip gym altogether - hence the leaving her in theory part.

Last time we were there we were running in a bit late. I took both kids to the dance room to make sure Izzy was on time. Then I was struck with a dilemma. I couldn't leave her while I signed Alex in at the other side of the building and taking her with us defeated the purpose of running in to get her there on time. I looked at Alex and asked him if he was okay getting himself there. Sure! He was thrilled. Heck, he was half was out the door without me before I even asked.

I gave him his card and told him to ask the guy with the clipboard (the one we parents use to sign our kids in and out) to hold it for him. Then away he went.

As I sat watching Izzy I started asking myself, will I get in trouble for sending him without signing him in? Did he make it there alright? Did he tell the supervisor why his negligent mother wasn't there to drop him off? I could see the exit from where I was sitting in Izzy's room and started noticing how busy the place was. I saw that he could have easily slipped passed me and out the front door. Then years of exposure to CNN and Law and Order started these niggling little thoughts that were hard to quash. The what ifs... We all know what they are. The usual horror and fear about kidnapping and molestation. So this bad thought would pop into my head, my heart would race a little and I began fidgeting in my seat. Then I would reason it right back out. Sure, something bad could have be happening but it was extremely unlikely. I kept resisting the urge to grab Izzy and run down the hall just to make sure he was okay.

My boy will be 7 in a couple of weeks. He is pretty tall for his age. Looks much older. I trust him. In general, I trust humanity too. It is humbling though - this feeling of not being in control.

At the end of dance class, this very large, male volunteer coach came into the room with Alex and a few other kids. The boy was red-faced, sweaty and grinning like a fool. He had just spent the past 45 minutes running and playing. It was no big deal for him. This "incident" at the Y seemed out of the ordinary to me. A moment I will probably remember for a very long time. If it happens again though, I will be much more relaxed. I have learned that the hard part is trusting everything to be okay. When it is okay then the next time it gets easier.

Fear. It is the most insidious predator parents face. Unfortunately I feel it is a battle I will be fighting for a very long time.

Reading

2010-02-16T12:43:00.004-06:00

I feel like Izzy is right on the cusp of reading. What is so interesting to me is how differently it is happening for her, at least, compared to Alex.

Alex was pre-reading for quite a while. It started around 2 1/2 and since his dad was beginning to read at that age, it was sort of expected. Not that we thought he had to read that early. Just that a boy who isn't even 2 having full sentence conversations with you and being able to express his feeling and frustrations through words sets the bar pretty high. It really didn't take until 3 1/2 but around his 4th birthday he graduated to the Magic Tree House books and never looked back.

I didn't teach Alex to read. I read to him, of course, be he gets all the credit. I remember bits and pieces of how it came together. There was the constant asking about what that sign said and what that paper said. He was relentless for a while and I couldn't wait to get past that phase. One of the first signs he read on his own was "The Beer Store". Too funny! We usually buy all our liquor from the LCBO (a government run liquor store - you can only buy booze in Ontario at those two places or small wine outlets run by the vineyards) so it was funny that it happened on one of those rare trips. I spent what felt like a long time right on the edge of waiting for it to happen. It wasn't gradual like I assumed it would be. It was like a flood gate that had opened. Someone recommended that I show him some Calvin and Hobbes, which he loved, and that induced him to read on his own.

Basically Alex went from asking me what it said to reading it back to me. I wish I knew if or what the middle step was but I don't. He watched a lot of the Leap Frog dvds on reading and letters but that was about it. I also own early reader books but didn't pull them out for him until it was too late to use them as learning tools.

Now I have Izzy and we are getting to the part where she asks, often, what this or that says. That is pretty much where the similarities end though. She is a kid who will only take life at her pace. She won't be prodded along even with level one princess books to entice her. No, she comes to me with the early readers and tells me what we are to work on together.

I see a system coming into play. She loves to write and will sit beside me for hours asking how to spell words. She has memorized quite a few of them now. I think she is breaking these words apart (by knowing what they are at first) and is now beginning to apply some of the rules to words she sees written elsewhere.

There is something methodical about this girl. She doesn't do things by accident and works until she achieves perfection. I get a kick out of seeing her learn through spelling. Especially since Alex could read so well and is only now catching up to his grade level in spelling. She will be a fantastic speller. Izzy reminds me a lot of myself at her age. I was a champion speller in school - winning end of year prizes. I also have a hard time moving on to other sentences until I feel the one I just wrote is up to snuff. That free-form writing was agony for me. There are a lot of similarities between the two of us.

It really is fascinating, watching their little brains go through these processes. They never do what I expect of them. I think she will be reading before her 5th birthday.

Tired, Busy but Happy...Mostly

2010-02-10T15:15:00.002-06:00

I am a big fan of all or nothing and well we are up to our eyeballs in *all*. It starts innocently enough but then I seem unable to stop myself.

So right now we have (I am thinking by day here) piano, gym, dance, art, gym, a group play-date, beavers, co-op, more gym, swimming lessons (starting up again this week) and are about to add in french class and 2 hours of chess each week. Oh, and I am supposed to find some cheap dance or gymnastics through the city for Miss Iz. This is on top of play time with friends and neighbours, people popping in for a cup of tea, errands, chores, stuff I do for the condo board (which wants me to consider becoming president in the coming term!) or ------schoolwork!

I added something here and another thing there and voila! Chaos!

It sounds worse than it feels like. Some days are crazier than others. Many of these activities come in smaller chunks, like 6-10 week sessions and then break for a bit. I do better when I am busy. I need some sort of schedule to keep me moving along. I don't feel overwhelmed because I know that these are things we chose to take on and we can just as easily choose to drop out.

Still, for the first time in my life I am looking forward to summer vacation :-)

Izzy's First Trip to the Symphony

2010-02-05T19:23:00.002-06:00

That is Roy Thompson Hall in behind Miss Iz. The concert was called Paddywak. It featured more modern music, which isn't my favourite but any live orchestra is pretty fabulous sounding to me. She enjoyed herself but preferred the more traditional music the concert started with.

Alex and I have had season tickets to the Toronto Symphony Kid's Concert Series in the past. Most of the kids at the concert were school groups (we went with a group of homeschoolers) and there was one moment I will remember forever. As soon as the lights dimmed, the audience quieted right down and then orchestra started to play. The audience of mostly children let out a soft gasp. Izzy was among them. It really does take your breath away. Nothing beats a live concert hall with a full orchestra. Absolutely nothing.

Back to Math

2010-02-05T19:09:00.003-06:00

Alex has a hard time transitioning back into work he deems difficult. Meaning he whines and moans about how "haaaaaaarrd" it is and that he is too "stupid" to do it. This is not only annoying but clearly wrong. We both know it. It started because he doesn't like to write and pages that he went over orally took minutes while the ones I made him write down the answers took forever. Not sure what the answer to motivating him is. It isn't exactly my, or Rob's, forte. I cringe a little inside anticipating many years of "Alex, do your work"...."but it is too hard"..."you either do it for me or for a teacher at school"...and so on.

On the other hand, there is Miss Iz. I told her she couldn't start the workbooks until she could read, write and recognize her numbers up to 12. She could count, of course, and recognize some numbers but I figured we'd have to work a little together before she was ready for Miquon. Ha! She showed me. She taught herself what I requested in about 10 minutes and then did 7 pages of math sheets. What a girl!

I think it is part perfectionist and part competition. Alex can read and read very well. She can't yet. She can, however, blow the pants off him in writing and she knows it. She practices to be better. When she heard Alex complain that math was too hard she decided to show him up. I would bet that just through sheer determination she will be doing the same work as him in a year or two.

Below is a picture I took after she went to practice her numbers. After writing a 3 backwards over a picture she drew of the family (complete with ages written above our heads) she went downstairs and wrote out 31 as many times as she could fit on the sheet. That is my girl. Relentless.

For the record, it is Rob who is 31!

I was impressed!

2010-02-05T18:47:00.001-06:00

Had to share. My kids aren't big on drawing so I was really surprised at last art class when Alex spent more time drawing than socializing. Not too shabby!

Our Family Vacation

2010-01-31T13:44:00.009-06:00

Our first trip to Great Wolf Lodge. We scored half price rooms a few months back and planned a late January get-away. We stayed for 3 nights. Homeschooling friends also went to the lodge that week, for the first 2 nights we were there.

The weather was not great on the drive to Niagara Falls so traffic was a mess. We left early so we could go to the butterfly conservatory before heading to the hotel. It was a very nice place but Izzy was terrified, especially when I stopped near a feeding dish and some of them started to land on me.

We could see the Lodge across the gorge from the park area when leaving the conservatory. The kids were chomping at the bit to get there.

We arrived before 1pm and though our rooms were not ready (not guaranteed until 4pm) we were issued out wristbands and decided to hit the waterpark. The wristbands are very cool in that they work as your room key, lock for the lockers and a way to charge stuff to your room. Though by the last day Rob and I were dying to get them off. Alex still has his on. It will be a week tomorrow.

The place was fabulously clean and the lifeguards seem pretty diligent. Everyone is quite friendly. There is a lot for the whole family to do. Alex was tall enough to ride all the slides. Izzy was a big fan of the lazy river and the wave pool. I preferred the hot-tub myself. Especially the outdoor one!

Just after 3pm I was able to check in to our room. The lady at the front desk asked it it was okay that we were at the end of the hall on the water park level. I figured, why not?! Well, the place is deceptively large and it was a running joke our entire stay about the amount of time it took to get back and forth from the room. The place is massive!

The kids were thrilled with the bunk beds. The fact that their room had cable was the icing on the cake. We don't have cable at home anymore and this was just an added treat.

I was happy that they thought to add laundry lines in the room to help dry our bathing suits. I noticed a lot of small things they added for our comfort and made us very happy with our mini-break choice.

At 8pm each night they have story time. We had friends over to our suite for a pizza supper than after relaxing a little met upstairs to the kids could watch the live show.

It was a busy day and it wasn't long before the kids were out cold.

The next morning was a breakfast buffet at the Antler Shanty. The food wasn't amazing but the selection was pretty decent. We purchased an add-on meal plan. Something like $45 an adult buys you a breakfast buffet, lunch and drink at one of the smaller cafes or pizza hut and one dinner buffet. I found it to be a pretty good deal since it included the taxes and gratuity. We only purchased one meal plan for each family member because we left the park or brought food for the meals.

Followed by some activities and crafts in the lobby.

Then another romp in the waterpark.

Over the stay there was:

A religious experience for Izzy when she had her first manicure at a spa. The place is called Scoops and designed for little girls. The said it was, "...the best day of her life." My little girly, girl!

Play time at the arcade.

A severe case of the (over-tired girl) grumps.

A ride on the SkyWheel - a small version of the London Eye. It was horrible, at least for me. I am terrified of heights and yet, in a moment of insanity I suggested this would be a great way to see the Falls lit up at night. I paid $10 to have a panic attack! The worst part was that there was no one else there and he let us go around an extra turn!! I wanted to faint. It was pretty windy too and the car rocked quite a bit on that last run. The kids thought I was hysterical. Happy to have entertained them.

Of course, there was a trip to the Falls with a quick stop for hot chocolate at Starbucks.

It was pretty chilly and we made the kids walk from the Skylon Tower down to the edge of the Falls. It was cold, wet (obviously) and they weren't very impressed. The Falls isn't exactly pretty in the winter.

We got to go behind the Falls. One of the decks is closed in the winter but we got up pretty close.

There are two open passages behind the Falls. This one was frozen right over but the second one was pretty cool. I didn't get any good pictures of the second one because a giant amount of fast rushing water isn't easy to capture on film. Alex got pretty soaked though getting up as close as he could.

The last morning was a quick breakfast and me packing up the car while Rob took the kids to the waterpark one last time.

Before we left Niagara Falls, we still had to use up our tickets to the show 'The Fury'. The website says, Experience the Creation of Niagara Falls in 4-D! The temperature will drop 20 degrees. Water will bubble and spray while snow falls all around. Standing in the mist on a massive platform you will feel the full wrath of Mother Nature as the floor tilts and trembles beneath you. You'll never look at the Falls the same way again!

On the way home, we passed through Niagara on the Lake, grabbing some wine from our favourite vineyards.

We really did have a good time. It was nice to just be away with Rob since he has been so busy lately. We will definitley go back. Poor kids were so upset to leave. They do a great job of taking care of families there and was pretty impressed.

More On The Co-Op

2010-01-31T13:24:00.002-06:00

This has been something I have dreamed about being a part of since I heard of a group from a homeschooling friend that attended one about an hour west of us. It is a group that has been going for several years and my friend was a big part of their success. Now that we lived further East, we thought, wouldn't it be nice to have something like that closer to home.

It took a while to find a venue. We eventually found a library willing to give us the community room for 2 hours, every other week. In turn, a librarian handles 15 minutes of reading (material related to the topics) and also puts together a table full of books for us to check out at the end of the session. It is a win-win situation. The libraries depend on funding from book circulation and we provide homeschooling families from surrounding communities to come in and check out a lot of books.

Since my friend had been involved in a co-op before, she knew what worked and what didn't so we put a lot of work early on into setting the tone for the group. There are rules, like participants must contribute to a session at some point by hosting it themselves. It is a co-op, after all, not a few moms trying to educate the masses. It isn't a drop-off service either and parents are required to attend and help out. More basic rules too, like being quiet during activities or not running around and distracting the group.

The kids range from about 3 years old up to 8 or 9. We try to gear the activities to a second/third grade level. There is usually something for everyone. Here is a sample outline of a previous session:

Topic: Solar System/Gravity

ARRIVAL TIME (greetings & set up)
1:00 – 1:15
Please ensure you are ready for the librarian to start at 1:15

READING CIRCLE TIME (Librarian)
1:15 – 1:35
Readings and circle activities based on the day's theme

SHOW AND TELL
1:35 - 1:50
Children can share their learning on the day's topic with the rest of the
group(this is a voluntary part of the program)

GROUP TIME
1:50 – 3:00
For this session there will not be centres and all activities will be run as a
whole group.

We will be doing a number of different activities and experiments examining the
orbits of the planets, there relative sizes and discovering how they are
governed by Newton's laws of Motion.

We will be walking the orbit of the earth and discovering how the tilt of the
Earth on its axis effects the seasons/equinoxes. Using hands on activities and
experiments we will be exploring Newton's 3 Laws of Motion and how they relate to the planets in our solar system. [Example activities included making balls out of newspaper and attaching them to strings so the kids could whirl them around their heads to see how/why the pulling kept it in a circle rather than throwing it off into the room; and using magnets and ball bearings to see how one celestial body affected the movement of another.] We will examine how a combination of inertia and gravity keep the planets orbiting the sun. We will examine the sizes of the different planets and how that effect the amount of gravity they have. We will discover how gravity would effect our weight on each of the planets.

Clean-up and sign out library materials

It has been a great success and is something parents can be proud of while the kids just have fun learning together. We started with 4 families and now have a pretty solid core group of 9. We are averaging 20-24 kids lately and word of mouth has been spectacular. I see great things for this group. The only problem I see in the future is having too many people interested.

The "Mensa" Co-op

2010-01-22T19:38:00.005-06:00

Apparently, this is the nickname given to us by the husband of one of our members. Funny and probably a little true. We aim for the brass ring.

Today's co-op was awesome! It was the one I have wanted to do ever since I heard about a group in Mississauga doing it. A couple of moms made a comet out of dry ice, ammonia, sand and corn syrup. Then it was put in a display where the sun (with holes poked through and a blow dryer attached) slowly melts it. As it melts and the gases are expelled it forms a tail. Though the tail wasn't as big as we would have liked, it was still very cool.

One of the other projects was to create craters. We took containers with flour and a little hot chocolate sprinkled on top and dropped different size marbles from different heights and angles creating the crater, rim and ejecta blanket surrounding them. The kids learned why we can see so many craters on the moon (negligent atmosphere doesn't break them up or slow them down upon entry) but they are hidden on Earth (due to our weather, the shifting plates and a large surface area of water).

Other activities were using ball bearings and magnets to see what forces cause objects to hit one planet and not others.

I just love this co-op. I especially love the days we do science stuff!!

In The Car on the Way Home from Julia's....

2010-01-22T19:16:00.002-06:00

Izzy: I am going to marry Rowan. He asked me and I said yes.

Alex: Ughhhh...

Me: What Alex, I thought you liked Rowan? Why can't he marry your sister?

Alex: Because they would be a bad combination together. It is just a terrible idea.

Me: Why?

Alex: Because he took Izzy and Eliana's toys and hid them in his room. If they get married he might end up taking Izzy's toys and hiding them in his room.

Izzy: No. I don't care. I am marrying Rowan.

Me: So, where are you going to live if you get married?

Izzy: Well, we will live in an apartment. Then move to another apartment. Then buy a house.

Me: How? You need money. Who is going to go to work every day.

Izzy: Rowan.

Izzy: Hey mommy, you and daddy were friends before you got married right?

Me: Yes, we met at University.

Izzy: Were you friends when you were kids like me and Rowan and then got married when you were a grown up?

Me: No, we didn't know each other as kids but daddy was still a teenager when we met.

Izzy: Well, we are getting married.

Me: Can Eliana be a bridesmaid?

Izzy: Maybe.

Note To Future Self

2010-01-21T17:47:00.002-06:00

Never, ever attempt to paint a kitchen in a small house with two children running around. It is bad for my mental health. Boy, if this kitchen isn't done soon, I am going to wind up in a loony bin some where.

My Favourite Things!!!

2010-01-21T10:44:00.003-06:00

I am killing time between coats of paint and really am not interested in the big pile of dirty laundry ;-)

My iPhone. Rob and I each got a 16gig 3Gs phone and we may love them more than each other. Techie families with gadget obsessions are the the worst! Yesterday, Rob called me from work while I was chatting with a neighbour. I interrupted her to answer the phone, thinking it must be important because he has only texted me from the office since we got them. Turned out he just wanted to say hi, lol.

Bananagrams. We have had this game for about 2 years but I had no idea how fun it was until my sister-in-law noticed we had it and showed us the game. Addictive and so much fun. I had just been using the tiles to practice reading and spelling with the kids. We break this game out so much I bought another pack to add extra players.

Angie Sage. Alex burned through her Araminta Spookie books in record time and we are starting the Septimus Heap books.

The colour cornmeal. It is what I am painting my kitchen right now and I love it!!! It is so bright and warm. Now I just need to pick some $*#&%# colours for the rest of the house. Not my forte!

Starbucks Vanilla Rooibos Tea. OMG. It is fantastic! I am a real tea fanatic and have about 20 different kinds in my cupboard right now. Not to mention a fancy, schmancy tea maker on the counter. I had it in a latte last night and wow, it is like dessert in a cup.

My new MEC Shoulder Bag. I have had many purses but this bag is the bee's knees. Holds everything I need. Great organization compartments. Love the handle on it. Don't think I have ever spent just $19 on a hand bag but this is my favorite by far. I love all our MEC stuff. Won't buy a backpack from any where else.

Clean Eating Magazine. I love magazines though I don't buy many any more. Too many ads in most. I used to like Cooking Light but I find they have more articles and less food these days. Clean Eating, I think, is one of the best healthy food magazines out there. I keep every subscription and have tried many of their recipes. Excellent read!

Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. A bread cookbook by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois. I have mentioned this book in other posts. This is the book with my pizza and white bread recipe. The one everyone loves and people beg me to make for them. So simple, and truly works every time. Just picked up their new book, Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a day but haven't made anything in it yet due to the tail end of the kitchen reno. Place is tarped up like a Dexter kill room. Another favourite thing, by the way. Loved that show since the first episode aired in 2006. One of my all time favourite tv shows.

I'll come back and add more if I can think of anything else!

A Few Truths About Me:

2010-01-20T09:29:00.003-06:00

Inspired by some fellow hs bloggers (Kez and Butterfly plus many others, I am sure!).

I have pretty much stopped watching the news. I know about Haiti and feel horrified for the people there...and will try to give in ways that I can...but life is so much less stressful since I stopped watching news. I read a little online and keep up to date on the big stuff. I used to get so worked up - angry at politicians, sad for the babies that lost their lives to crazy parents, disgusted by drunk drivers that kill a family of 4, etc... I still have those feelings but I can't invest so much emotion to all the sadness and horrors in this world 24-7. Sometimes I feel a little stupid hearing something important second hand but not enough to jump back into the abyss.

I need to lose a lot of weight. A lot. Down 25lbs right now but a long way to go. Not stressing over it. For me it is all about health. I could care less about bikini wear ;)

I love food. Okay, not a secret. Not just eating food, but cooking food and feeding others. I am a genuine food snob. Do not bring parmesan cheese in a can into my house. Or any kind of "helper" for some form of meat. Or fish sticks. I don't think my kids even know what a fish stick is. My almost 7 year old loves quinoa and asks for the sushi with fish eggs on top.

Dare I say it? Only Rob knows this so far, I think, but...I love Jane Austen Fan Fiction. There, I said it. Good ones - and there are a few. Sure, Austen would probably be horrified at what is out there (and I have to say that while I had high hopes for Pride, Prejudice and Zombies it was a real disaster) there are some really good writers who just will never get paid to write this stuff. I can remember being a kid, reading a book that really grabbed me and thinking about alternative situations for those characters and plot. What can I say? I just love it.

I love movies. As a teen I think I saw almost one a week in the theater. My favourites are period pieces, zombie movies (hence the PP&Z book), end of the world movies (much to Rob's chagrin, lol), dark comedies and some sci-fi (like the new Star Trek or Serenity). That last one is a late introduction to my repertoire and is really just what happened after living with my husband for over a decade.

I come from a pretty mentally unstable family of origin. So unstable that I cut off all ties with my parents about 6 years ago - no contact at all. This sounds really bad and depressing but it is not. I am happy, healthy and have worked this out many years ago with the help of my therapist. I am usually pretty open about this but I tend not to write about it on this blog. Kind of bums people out.

I love a clean and tidy house. I just have no interest in doing anything to keep it that way. I hate house cleaning. Almost as much as my husband which, frankly, is a lethal combination. I'd hire a house keeper but I am fussy about my stuff being touched.

I love massages. Real ones by professionals. I can't do it though because I am so ticklish. Nothing like a squirming client on the table to make you regret career choices.

I really, genuinely do not care what other people think. Thanks to a few years of therapy. Conflict, however, is a whole other issue. I hate arguments and confrontation. Makes me sick to my stomach. I have to mute the tv when people on it are yelling at each other. Those morons who yell at people all the time on the Fox network are living my idea of hell.

I think I was born an atheist. Never once have I been able to believe in God. I wanted to a few times but it just isn't in there. My dad is an atheist and my mother roman catholic. My brother and I each chose a side. I had an amazing upbringing in this regard. Atheist dad was really good friends with a priest, who adored me and let me participate in all sorts of religious rituals. I went to a catholic school up to grade 6. My dad got his degree in religion at university. There were always discussions going on. It was fantastic. I love the ritual and ceremony that comes with religion and the community too. I just can't get into the god part.

I talk and write too much. But you knew that already. :)

Not Always Sunshine and Lollipops

2010-01-20T09:04:00.002-06:00

A homeschooler to be asked what the downsides to homeschooling are for some of us in the trenches. I didn't have to think to hard, they are things I have the luxury of griping over with some of my fellow hs mom/friends. The kids run off and play while we sip tea and discuss whatever is on our minds. Very cathartic. Not just getting stuff off your chest but hearing other families are in the same boat too.

Anyway, here was my response to the post at motheringdotcom:

Everything in life isn't perfect...

...and neither is homeschooling. Though I find it infinitely better than the alternative.

Down sides for me are:

- Less me time. I am always on. I am a mom, chauffeur, teacher, friend, disciplinarian, librarian, guidance counselor, therapist, cook, shopper, etc. It never ends. Not that this isn't the way for most moms and dads. Still, dh gets to take a vacation from work and I realize there is no vacation from homeschooling mom.

- Money. It is flying out the window. I know homeschooling is only as expensive as you make it but in order to accomplish what I want, it takes cash. There is no funding where I live. I want my dks to have art classes, french classes, go to gym, join scouts, etc...it is not cheap. I find the material for the few curriculums we have chosen are relatively well priced but there is always the consumable stuff you go through...or something you may not have laying around needed for a science experiment that week. Playdates and field trips can cost too, whether is be gas or the cost of a yearly pass to the zoo.

- Driving. There is a lot of it. Homeschoolers tend not to live next door to each other. In my area we visit 4 cities (that border each other) regularly to visit our closest hs friends and parks. Activities for us are clustered but not in the same building so we drive to art, then 15 minutes away to gym, then, well you get the picture.

- My own level of motivation and guilty conscience. I am I doing enough? Does ds know X. How is dd's writing coming along? Have I spent enough time on lessons? Have we read enough this week? Has ds been on the Wii for 3 hours now? The further I go along in this hs'ing adventure, the less guilt I feel - probably because I see they are fine and I haven't completely ruined them.

- A clean house. I have neighbours who have the house to themselves for more than 6 hours a day. They can clean it while the kids are gone. Not us. Also because we are one income and because we spend a good chunk of change each year on the kids we have bought a small house - which is filled to the brim with books (that are everywhere ) and just life.

- Not getting many breaks from each other. The dks and I are together a lot. Sometimes it would be nice if someone else would take them for a few hours each week. Just long enough for me to miss them.

I love homeschooling but it isn't always easy. I still wouldn't trade my life for anything though. I love this life, warts and all.

Update...

2010-01-19T10:00:00.003-06:00

You know, several times a week I think to myself that I need to get X written on my blog but time and inclination have been getting away from me.

We started back on the kitchen. The kitchen we have not touched since, oh, late last February? What can I say, it was functional and we had other priorities such as the children and down time. I am halfway finished painting the room. No small feat with all the stuff on the go and two children under foot. We started on the weekend when the kids were away at their aunt's house.

The kids are doing really well right now. Alex has hit his stride in piano. He is playing with two hands now and not really shuffling back and forth when he had to switch hands. He is reading the notes really well and best of all, he now plays for himself! I no longer have to prod him to sit at the piano each day.

Izzy is a little worker bee. She always has a pen in hand and is writing letters, numbers, words...and pictures, lots and lots of pictures! She is really getting into art class now and the teacher sees a real difference in ability since the last session. Reading is coming along very slowly but she is interested and we aren't pushing it. She asks how to spell things and what words say. I think it will just come one day when she finds the material that motivates her. With Alex it was Calvin and Hobbes.

I have new science books that came in last week but we haven't touched them yet. I'll post about those when I have something to review. It is the R.E.A.L. Science books and there are 3 subjects - Earth and Space, Life and Chemistry. It is set up to do 2 days worth of material for each week. I am looking forward to it. Quite a bit will be review for Alex (my science buff) but new for Izzy. The material ranges from grades 1 - 3, I think and I hope to cover any gaps I may be missing right now.

The really big deal lately is all this planning going on for some exciting new homeschool ventures. The co-op is going well but we are still trying to cement a core group of families that will actively participate in the club. We need a certain number for the library to keep giving us free space.

It looks like we have scored big with a french teacher for the kids too! One of the mom's started looking into a french tutor to hang out with our kids (about 9-11 of them) and teach them a little french. The search took us on an unexpected path and we discovered a real french teacher with a Montessori bent that is going to come up with a full curriculum and lesson for our kids once a week. The only problem is that this will not be a cheap venture. For at least $30/week for both kids it will certainly put a dent in the pocketbook but I think she is worth it. I hope so!

I am so excited about french. A little sad that I know a few families that were interested won't be able to afford this class but I think it will be amazing for my kids. Here, the kids don't start french until grade 4 unless you are in immersion and it sounds pretty half-assed, if you ask me. Growing up in Northern Ontario, I have higher standards for the kids and their french lessons. This will be a very small class, with 5 or 6 kids, and we should be able to do quite a lot pretty fast.

It feels good to have someone else take the reigns a bit, educationally speaking, and I hope this works well for us. I can't bring the enthusiasm and freshness the kids need to get jazzed about a subject like french. Rob and I talked about what was important to us, what was important for the children to learn (from good teachers and resources) and we know that when it comes to the arts, music and foreign languages we have to fork out the dough to give them the excellent education we are striving for. Between the two of us, we can easily handle the rest.

I have to say that overall I am very happy with how homeschooling is turning out. It is pretty close to what I imagined in my head. Over the weekend Rob and I were out snooping in new home developments and drooling over some pretty (large) homes. Wondering what we could afford in two or three years. Daring to dream big. A few days have passed though and while we will definitely want to upgrade houses in a few years, I think we should do what we did when we bought this house. Figure out what we can afford and spend a lot less. We aren't exactly where we want to be, financially, but I like being able to give the kids what they need without worrying about the bills.

Venting - Ontario begins rolling out all day JK :(

2010-01-13T11:23:00.005-06:00

Funny enough, the school Izzy went to didn't make the cut for next year.

Anyway, a list of schools came out this week announcing which ones will be offering all day junior and senior kindergarten next year. I am alternately sad and disgusted. First of all, call it what it is, government funded day care. Don't go off telling the world that this is going to help our economy by making our future workforce smarter.

I know it is optional. Though they won't rule out making it mandatory in four or five years when the program is fully implemented. This means they would have to amend the education act too. Right now education is mandatory from 6 to 18 or graduation). This would mean pushing it down to age 3...because good chunk of babies born later in the year are three when they start JK here making it 15 full years of mandatory schooling. (For my friends who do not hs please understand that I see a huge difference between learning and schooling since we are learning all the time and not always in school or after ager 3 ;-))

I know that many kids are in daycare all day. Daycare has lower child to care giver ratios than school, I wonder will the board of education adhere to those numbers. Not likely. I also know it can be a challenge to deal with a child only in school for 3 hours while you work 8 or 9. Why not offer alternate day schooling, like in some districts. Or have a daycare attached to the schools. Or at least admit to the public at large that it is still half day kindergarten with some daycare thrown in on the house.

It really bothers me that the government is instituting this program. At an additional 1.5 billion dollars each year you would think that the money could be spent better elsewhere. Our colleges and universities are suffering. Our public and high schools are crumbling due to lack of money for maintenance. I can't see why circle time is more important to our society at this time over new chemistry books...or even enough books for each student? It is the Province trying to solve a daycare issue at the expense of an already maxed out education system.

A fairly well-known homeschooler from BC (Miranda, aka Moominmama) once said something on a board that has stayed with me for a long time. I am paraphrasing: We started with kindergarten to introduce kids to the school system and prepare them for grade one. Then we added Junior Kindergarten to prepare the kindergarteners for Senior Kindergarten. Then we added all these preschool programs to get kids ready for Jk...it just never ends.

So I wonder, what is the point of all day school for 3, 4 and 5 year olds. If it is about getting people working and spending more money, okay, admit that and stop pretending that this is solely for the benefit of our children. Do not tell me that this makes kids happier, healthier and smarter. Aside from my anecdotal evidence to the contrary, studies that show a real benefit to structured early education are based in urban and lower income places. We know that at home, at school or at daycare, what matters most are involved parents/educators who care and commit to their children's education.

Oy!!! I could go on forever. I know that this world isn't filled with stay at home moms baking cookies, lol, nor should it be. I want choices for my kids - especially my daughter. What I want is for people to take a really good look at what is best for the masses of young ones we are marching off to school and acknowledge why we are doing it.

Anyway, rant over. I am getting more agitated and repetitive. Funny how I hear that homeschoolers only do what is best for themselves. I do care. A lot. I am just thankful that I can dislike a system and be able to remove myself from it too.

Just had to put this out there!

2010-01-13T08:54:00.003-06:00

Copied from The Washington Times (because sometimes links get lost):

HOME-SCHOOLING: Socialization not a problem

Sunday, December 13, 2009
By Michael Smith

One of the most persistent criticisms of home-schooling is the accusation that home-schoolers will not be able to fully participate in society because they lack "socialization." It's a challenge that reaches right to the heart of home-schooling, because if a child isn't properly socialized, how will that child be able to contribute to society?

Since the re-emergence of the home-school movement in the late 1970s, critics of home-schooling have perpetuated two myths. The first concerns the ability of parents to adequately teach their own children at home; the second is whether home-schooled children will be well-adjusted socially.

Proving academic success is relatively straightforward. Today, it is accepted that home-schoolers, on average, outperform their public school peers. The most recent study, "Homeschool Progress Report 2009," conducted by Brian Ray of the National Home Education Research Institute, surveyed more than 11,000 home-schooled students. It showed that the average home-schooler scored 37 percentile points higher on standardized achievement tests than the public school average.

The second myth, however, is more difficult to address because children who were home-schooled in appreciable numbers in the late 1980s and early 1990s are only now coming of age and in a position to demonstrate they can succeed as adults.

Home-school families across the nation knew criticisms about adequate socialization were ill-founded — they had the evidence right in their own homes. In part to address this question from a research perspective, the Home School Legal Defense Association commissioned a study in 2003 titled "Homeschooling Grows Up," conducted by Mr. Ray, to discover how home-schoolers were faring as adults. The news was good for home-schooling. In all areas of life, from gaining employment, to being satisfied with their home-schooling, to participating in community activities, to voting, home-schoolers were more active and involved than their public school counterparts.

Until recently, "Homeschooling Grows Up" was the only study that addressed the socialization of home-schooled adults. Now we have a new longitudinal study titled "Fifteen Years Later: Home-Educated Canadian Adults" from the Canadian Centre for Home Education. This study surveyed home-schooled students whose parents participated in a comprehensive study on home education in 1994. The study compared home-schoolers who are now adults with their peers. The results are astounding.

When measured against the average Canadians ages 15 to 34 years old, home-educated Canadian adults ages 15 to 34 were more socially engaged (69 percent participated in organized activities at least once per week, compared with 48 percent of the comparable population). Average income for home-schoolers also was higher, but perhaps more significantly, while 11 percent of Canadians ages 15 to 34 rely on welfare, there were no cases of government support as the primary source of income for home-schoolers. Home-schoolers also were happier; 67.3 percent described themselves as very happy, compared with 43.8 percent of the comparable population. Almost all of the home-schoolers — 96 percent — thought home-schooling had prepared them well for life.

This new study should cause many critics to rethink their position on the issue of socialization. Not only are home-schoolers actively engaged in civic life, they also are succeeding in all walks of life. Many critics believed, and some parents feared, that home-schoolers would not be able to compete in the job market. But the new study shows home-schoolers are found in a wide variety of professions. Being home-schooled has not closed doors on career choices.

The results are a great encouragement to all home-schooling families and to parents thinking about home-schooling. Home-schoolers, typically identified as being high academic achievers, also can make the grade in society.

Both "Homeschooling Grows Up" and "Fifteen Years Later" amply demonstrate home-school graduates are active, involved, productive citizens. Home-school families are leading the way in Canadian and American education, and this new study clearly demonstrates home-school parents are on the right path.

To read the full study or a synopsis, visit www.hslda.ca/cche.

• Michael Smith is the president of the Home School Legal Defense Association. He may be contacted at 540/338-5600 or send e-mail to media@hslda.org.

Christmas Through Photos

2009-12-31T14:26:00.008-06:00

Started by making cards and pictures for family members.

Then Rob took the kids to Loblaws to make a gingerbread house - an annual tradition.

Put up the tree together. It was a lot of fun. The kids went over each and every ornament, reminiscing about Christmas' past before it went on the tree. Listening to some old fashioned holiday music and drinking egg nog, it felt like a moment taken right out of a Jimmy Stewart movie. A lovely day!

Did some baking...started with the fudge and chocolate peanut butter confetti...yummm!

Went bowling with a few other homeschool families.

Made ornaments at a Ceramics Studio.

Had the in-laws over for a big turkey dinner.

Went to a homeschool Christmas piano recital with our closest hs friends. Alex played Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Izzy and her buddy E goofing off a bit at the recital.

Took Aunt Kelly out to pick up a new car. Pretty Mini.

Picked Izzy up a new bed at Ikea. We are coming closer to fulfilling our destiny by furnishing the entire house by Ikea. We'll need a plaque by the front door soon. This home and all its furnishings brought to you by...

First night in her big girl bed.

A Christmas Eve tradition. We head out that morning to Rob's company kids party, have lunch at East Side Maris, grab an early afternoon train and come home to a nice surprise. One of Santa's elves delivers an early present, a new pair of pyjamas, an ornament for each child to put on the tree and a new game.

This year they scored with 2 sets of pyjamas and The Amazing Animal Trivia Game. Santa must have sensed the need for pjs that fit. Later that night, before bed, we leave Santa his cookies (one from each child) and some water. We also sprinkle some special sparkly oats outside for the reindeer.

Christmas morning was a happy one. There was Lego, a Leapster, some Strawberry Shortcake toys and a whack of stuff for the Wii. We ate homemade Belgian waffles with whip cream and strawberries for breakfast. A lovely red wine broth fondue for supper.

Boxing Day was another treat. Aunt Kelly stayed with the kids while we had a night out. There was dinner at a restaurant and a movie. Avitar. I was a little disappointed in the movie but, then, it really isn't my kind of movie anyway. We booked a suite with a Whirlpool tub and had a whole night to ourselves. It was a glorious treat for me after running around and working so hard over Christmas.

Unfortunately (and fortunately) my phone died while we were out. Just a week ago, the man at the Corporate Plan Telus office remarked that he was surprised to see my LG Chocolate phone still working after nearly 3 years. If he had actually touched it I would have sworn he broke it for me, lol. Since we got rid of our land line last year it was imperative that I got a replacement right away.

So...
I finally got to pick up **my baby** :-)

I have wanted one of these from the day Steve Jobs showed it to the world. I love, love, love my iPhone. Rob and I each grabbed one and let me say, we are addicted to them. I even have to fight them away from the kids. I now can't even fathom how I survived without one before now, lol!

We took a short road trip to see my brother and the kids. More presents. More great food.

It was a good Christmas.

Now I am off to ready the family for a New Year's party with the neighbours. I hope everyone out there had a lovely holiday too. Happy New Year to you all!!!

Blabbering On

2009-12-17T06:58:00.004-06:00

I was thinking over my last post and how it was too hard to articulate what is going on in my head sometimes. I think it boils down to mother-daughter relationships and how strange and awesome it is to see how my role with Izzy evolves.

I didn't have a good relationship with my mother. Lets just say that there were many generations of females on that side of the family who just plain sucked at being mothers, sisters, daughters...

When I found out I was expecting a girl the second time around it kind of threw me for a loop. The first few years of her life are pretty typical of life with a young child. Nothing particularly noteworthy. Now she has blossomed into a little girl and looks to me as her model of what a woman is. Yikes.

So there are times when she mimics me or when she looks up to me when I am surprised and wonder a little what to do next. We are very, very close and I love that. It is a new world for me. I pined for a good mother-daughter relationship. Coveted those that belongs to my friends. It is amazing, surprising and weird to be part of one now. It makes me just want to stick her in a bubble and keep life as perfect as I can for her.

So yesterday, when we were at the hospital and I let my mind wander into the far off future I think I was a little shocked to think I could be a big part of it. To think she may want or need me around! There is a ton of history I just don't post about but it obviously clouds my thoughts. There are so many of us without mothers - either lost through death or by being emotionally and mentally incapable of parenting.

Gah...I am getting all emotional now. You know, I never think twice about how much I love and adore my son. Stupid childhood baggage! I wonder if I will ever stop being surprised at how good I have it now?

I was told more than a few times when I was pregnant that a girl was a good thing. That I was meant to have her in my life. That I needed her in my life. True, true, true! I have never been so happy that we accidentally got pregnant after deciding to have an only child.

Being Thankful

2009-12-16T20:48:00.003-06:00

I had a moment today where I just felt eternally grateful for having such healthy and happy children. I know so much is out of my hands as a parent but I just have such gratitude right now I just had to write it down.

Today Izzy went to the hospital for an echo-cardiogram. The doctor heard a murmur that is probably nothing but she thought Izzy should have out-grown. To be safe, our doctor ordered some tests. I am not worried. I am pretty zen about this stuff in general - not alarmist at all. Izzy was scared but soon realized how simple the test was. The only "problem" with having healthy children is that they only see a doctor once a year for check-ups and doctors/hospitals are scary unknown entities.

She was a trooper though. She hopped on the bed and I held her hand. She would look at me and we'd squeeze each other's fingers as code. She looked so tiny on the bed. Unnatural. I hated seeing her on one, even though it was just for a simple test. It certainly made me stop and think about how lucky I am. My niece and nephew have had many medical issues and surgeries.

We watched her heart on the monitor and I had this surge of emotion jolt through my body. It took me back to those days I watched her on the ultrasound in my womb. There were many opportunities. I think I had 14 ultrasounds...excessive but there were some other issues at play. Back then I could just watch that perfect little body with that perfect beating heart forever. It was beautiful. Today was beautiful too but I felt more protective this time. Like I wished I could stop time and have her keep her perfect, healthy little body forever. I had this insatiable need to take her home and feed her leafy greens and carrots. I guess it hit me that she will grow and age and some day die. Man this sounds awful but I didn't feel this in a negative, morbid sort of way. It was more of a profound wish to have her grow up healthy and strong and live to see her great-grandbabies.

This might be because she is a girl. And because I just had my physical too. She was so obstinate at her check-up a few days ago that my internal voice was thinking 'suck it up buttercup - one of the joys of being a woman is being poked and prodded' and my mind keeps moving forward thinking about the foundations I set for her now and how they will affect the future. Having just finished up my reproductive stint it hit me that I can't protect my girl from the future. Not that I really want to. She will experience her period, pap smears, and hopefully if she chooses, motherhood. I can't do these things for her - keep the pain or fear away.

I am rambling now. It was just such a mixed bag of thoughts today.

I Should be Sleeping

2009-12-16T20:40:00.002-06:00

Believe it or not, I still have a sore throat! It must be an infection. It has lasted too long and is bugging my right ear too.

Anyway, I have a million things to do tomorrow. It is payday and with Christmas in a week and some family heading this way for turkey on the weekend I have much to do. Like actually buy a turkey.

So tomorrow I will be dragging the kids around to many busy stores. They have a haircut squeezed in there too. I am sure they will be soooo pleasant when it is all said and done. The deal is that if they are relatively good while mommy bores them to death spending the day getting in and out of the car, then we can go to this Chinese buffet that they love. Rob has another late night (and another lunch out - dim sum, one of the perks of working downtown Toronto is weekly meals out with the colleagues at fab restaurants) so it will just be the three of us. Unfortunately we are getting used to evenings without daddy. I can't wait for this project to end!

Thankfully most of the important shopping is done but the tiny details just keep adding to my to-do list.

Girls V. Boys?

2009-12-15T12:47:00.004-06:00

Printing, writing, colouring? Are these all things where girls are just naturally more proficient? Izzy will, through her own initiative, sit down and compose something for someone. Alex has to be bribed, cajoled or threatened into it. Already Izzy's penmanship surpasses Alex's but what is more amazing to me is the way she strives to learn new things. She is pretty good at capital letters but still writes lower case so she will be better at that.

We haven't done much in the way of school work lately. I feel bad, I think, because I don't feel that bad. Go figure. Actually, that isn't totally true. We have lapsed with the oral reading but mommy had the cold from hell and still feels congested so reading to the kids was tantamount to torture. Thankfully Alex is such a good reader but even he has been spending more time on the Wii than in front of a good book.

Not that much will change in the next few weeks. Life is busy and we are having too much fun to slow down and do math right now. That is what the terrible dead of winter is for. Getting stuck in the house and catching up on...everything.

Bowling Party!

2009-12-15T12:36:00.002-06:00

We met up with 3 other families this morning at a local bowling alley. Something fun for the kids to do, where we could all socialize and have a little fun. I think it went over pretty well.

There were 4 boys and 4 girls. The boys team were a sight to see. They would walk up the lane together, encourage each other, console each other. Real team spirit! The girls spent more time wondering when they were up again. They were the younger set though, with two 3 year olds, a 4 year old and a 6 year old.

Moms played one lane at the very end. I was horrible. Bowled a 55. I think I should just stick to Wii Bowling instead.

So Funny!

2009-12-11T23:28:00.002-06:00

Poor Macy Cat! She is being tormented by a couple of very brazen squirrels nesting in the tree behind the house. This one was hysterical. It came right up to the patio window and was just staring at all of us. A few minutes later Macy sauntered into the room and noticed her nemesis crouching in on her territory. The poor squirrel was frightened into moving down one step - ha, ha!

It is quite entertaining. They mimic the cat when they see her, driving her even battier and we all get a real kick out of it. My poor indoor cat just doesn't know what to do with them. Thankfully the glass separates them because I am pretty sure Macy wouldn't stand a chance against these little critters.

When One Day Stands Out from all the Rest

2009-12-11T22:23:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was one of those days.

The house is clean and that has a calming effect on all of us. I tend to be cluttered and my house reflects that. So when I woke up, I could do pretty much anything I wanted without having to tidy first. We decided that after some piano and math, we would turn on the Christmas music, decorate the tree, start the baking and break in the new Wii Fit Plus disc.

I felt like I was in some sappy holiday movie. Izzy was so happy and helpful that I wondered more than a few times that day if she had been switched by aliens. We took our time with the tree, going over each and every ornament. We have amassed quite a collection. Each year Santa brings them a new one that reflects a little about who they were that year. They remember some of the ornaments and anticipate seeing them again and placing them on the tree. Alex is hysterical. Sometimes it is like he walked out of a Dicken's novel, saying things like, "I am delighted to help you mommy..." and "...these cookies and eggnog are scrumptious!"

It was beautiful. We were just missing Rob, only not really as he doesn't appreciate this sappy Christmas feeling like the rest of us. The tree twinkled all day long and we sang old fashion Christmas songs. I made the fudge and some cookies. We reminisced about holidays past and then made tacos for supper. That was the only glitch in the day. The kids felt tacos were not really Christmas'y or festive. Well, everything can't be perfect.

I just wanted a dusting!

2009-12-09T20:11:00.002-06:00

Of snow, that is! With Christmas being a few weeks away I have been craving a little snow. A light blanket, you know, for aesthetic purposes to get me in the mood for the holidays. I grew up in Northern Ontario and, at least twenty-some-odd years ago we had snow from Halloween til Spring. Here you see blow-up Snowmen on grassy green lawns. It just seems wrong.

Well snow came today. Lots of it. Wet, slushy stuff too. I got up to clear the driveway while Rob showered. Alex wanted to come out but after two minutes my head was soaked and I kept him in the house. Wet snow weighs a ton! I was worried that weather station called for snow, turning to ice and rain, then melting only to freeze again over night. God, I love Southern Ontario (insert eye roll here). Our driveway slopes and I hate that jolting feeling when you hit the ice.

I cleared it all up and Rob walked out the door only to come back in 5 minutes later. Ice pellets were pinging him in the face while he waited for the bus that never showed to take him to the train station. He wound up working from home. I still had to schlep the kids to their annual check-up with the doctor. The parking lot was under a foot of slushy water. We grabbed a few groceries to come home and hunker down for the rest of the day. Doubt we'll leave the house tomorrow anyway.

I can't complain like my fellow Canadians out in Alberta right now with record lows of -40 before wind chill. That would suck too. I love snow. Can handle snow storms. I just hate the snow, melt, freeze, melt, freeze, snow again thing we have going on here in our neck of the woods. I should be used to it by now. Crazy area we live in. No snow this November (first time since 1937) but a white Christmas, probably. Wouldn't be surprised at all if we were back to fall jackets in January.

Man, I need sleep badly!

2009-12-02T14:40:00.003-06:00

I an [thisclose] to heading off to a hotel. Or I would be if Rob wasn't working insane hours and weekends.

Still sick. Just down to a sore throat and cough that can get so bad I am surprised I haven't blown out my tonsils or adenoids yet. So laying down - not easy.

On top of being sick and miserable, Izzy has not slept through the night in months. She wakes up 2 or 3 times each night and comes in the room either crying or making demands. Rob does his best to field her problems but she wants me. One night, after having been up with her for hours, I pretended to be asleep while he took care of her and she just shoves past him yelling for me and smacking my foot to wake me up.

I hope this gets better soon. Sleep deprivation is a killer for me and it is only a matter of time before I snap. I can survive on less sleep than I should but then I am so lethargic and moody. Last night I finally fell asleep on the couch around 1am, trying to sleep sitting up while hacking up a lung and half an hour later she comes down the stairs crying, wanting to sleep with me. Too tired to put up a fight, I let her crawl in behind me and I had another terrible night's sleep with Miss Iz kicking me in her sleep and rolling me off the couch.

So today I am so exhausted. I can barely move and I just want to crash.

Tonight Alex has to go caroling at a senior's centre with the other cub scouts and Rob emailed me telling me how cruddy he is today. All I ask for is a light at the end of this tunnel. I am pretty sure that when she is 16 Izzy won't be barging into my room all through the night. And, hopefully by then, this H1N1 will have passed through my system too.

In Desperate Need of Christmas Spirit!

2009-11-30T05:22:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is December 1st and I wish it were really November 1st. The days are flying by too quickly. I still have a ton of shopping to do. It has been unseasonably warm in this part of Ontario and the kids and I haven't even broken out our mittens yet.

Plus I have been super, freakishly sick!

This cold/flu hybrid thing (which my sister-in-law mentioned could be H1N1, like she has) is killing me. Over a week into this hell and still no signs of abating. The cough is so bad that I pulled muscles in my ribcage and at the base on my skull. Agony!

Usually I am chomping at the bit to get the tree up but not now. I was especially excited about Christmas 09 thanks to the disaster that was my kitchen last year. I have all kinds of baking plans, activities to do with the kids...our basic holiday stuff.

Instead, all I see are crazy traffic jams, annoyingly long lines at check-out counters and prettily decorated homes mocking me over my lack of holiday spirit.

Rob thinks I am just miserable because I am sick and in a week, when I have mended, things will be back on track - festive-wise. Probably. I hope so. Right now I just feel so much like Scrooge.

Think I'll head upstairs now for some more tea and advil.

You know, she drives me nuts but...

2009-11-28T03:08:00.004-06:00

...she is also one of the most nurturing people I know.

I have been so sick this week with the cold from hell. I am up every night (morning?) between 3 and 4am sipping tea and dreaming about the ability to lay down without coughing up a lung.

The kids have had to fend for themselves. Partly for entertainment and partly having to forage for food. The latter they are especially good at. Unfortunately Rob's work has taken over and he can't really push off meetings with suits to stay home and take care of me.

Izzy is funny though. She has been sick for weeks too. Still, when I finally get to lay down she crawls next to me, rubs my back and whispers things like, "shhh...just rest sweety". It is funny and adorable at the same time. Now if she was just tall enough to reach the tea kettle on the counter...

Alex isn't as big on hugging these days. Not because he doesn't want to - he just has other places to be with other things to do. Snuggling is rare but always welcome. He doesn't always tune into other people's distresses as readily as his sister but he'd do anything for you if you asked.

I am a lucky momma. Sure, tomorrow I will be over tired and the kids will be bickering and driving me nuts but I will try to remember these sweet little moments before advertising free children to a good home.

It is now 4:20am and I think I need one more tea.

Sometimes I am a cool mom!

2009-11-27T18:07:00.003-06:00

This is the fort I made for Alex's room. I think it lasted 4 days or so. We taped and tucked...added Christmas lights...it was awesome! It took up most of the bedroom and the kids got hours and hours of play-time out of it.

Alex slept inside each night it was up. Izzy tried to the first night but, as usual, the kids are a nightmare when they try to sleep together and had to be separated.

Alex asked if I had forts like this when I was a kid. I explained that my mother would not have let me use the clean sheets. He then replied, "Isn't it awesome being a grown-up. Now you can use all the sheets you want and nobody cares!"

They were sad to see it come down but I told them we'd rebuild some time after Christmas, when we need a little pick-me-up.

And on that note...

2009-11-27T13:59:00.003-06:00

All that talk about ages and stages, lol, started because someone sent me a contest I could enter but the demographic for qualifying was 26-34. I realized that (at least marketing-wise) I was entering a new stage in my life. No more directed ads for strollers or diapers here. It is all about Tums and sensible footwear from here on out!

AND a Happy Birthday to my beloved Rob! I have nearly 4 years on him so he'll still get direct marketing for video games for at least a few more years, I'm sure!

Happy 31st Love! From me and the kidlets :-)

Interesting...probably because I join the next demographic soon :-)

2009-11-27T13:51:00.002-06:00

1. Infancy: Birth-18 Months Old

During the first or second year of life, the major emphasis is on the mother and father’s nurturing ability and care for a child, especially in terms of visual contact and touch. The child will develop optimism, trust, confidence, and security if properly cared for and handled. If a child does not experience trust, he or she may develop insecurity, worthlessness, and general mistrust to the world.

2. Toddler / Early Childhood Years: 18 Months to 3 Years

The second stage occurs between 18 months and 3 years. At this point, the child has an opportunity to build self-esteem and autonomy as he or she learns new skills and right from wrong. The well-cared for child is sure of himself, carrying himself or herself with pride rather than shame. During this time of the “terrible twos”, defiance, temper tantrums, and stubbornness can also appear. Children tend to be vulnerable during this stage, sometimes feeling shame and and low self-esteem during an inability to learn certain skills.

3. Preschooler: 3 to 5 Years Izzy

During this period we experience a desire to copy the adults around us and take initiative in creating play situations. We make up stories with Barbie’s and Ken’s, toy phones and miniature cars, playing out roles in a trial universe, experimenting with the blueprint for what we believe it means to be an adult. We also begin to use that wonderful word for exploring the world—”WHY?”

The most significant relationship is with the basic family.

4. School Age Child: 6 to 12 Years Alex

During this stage, often called the Latency, we are capable of learning, creating and accomplishing numerous new skills and knowledge, thus developing a sense of industry. This is also a very social stage of development and if we experience unresolved feelings of inadequacy and inferiority among our peers, we can have serious problems in terms of competence and self-esteem.

As the world expands a bit, our most significant relationship is with the school and neighborhood. Parents are no longer the complete authorities they once were, although they are still important.

5. Adolescent: 12 to 18 Years

Up until this fifth stage, development depends on what is done to a person. At this point, development now depends primarily upon what a person does. An adolescent must struggle to discover and find his or her own identity, while negotiating and struggling with social interactions and “fitting in”, and developing a sense of morality and right from wrong.

Some attempt to delay entrance to adulthood and withdraw from responsibilities (moratorium). Those unsuccessful with this stage tend to experience role confusion and upheaval. Adolescents begin to develop a strong affiliation and devotion to ideals, causes, and friends.

6. Young adult: 18 to 35 Rob

At the young adult stage, people tend to seek companions hip and love. Some also begin to “settle down” and start families, although seems to have been pushed back farther in recent years.

Young adults seek deep intimacy and satisfying relationships, but if unsuccessful, isolation may occur. Significant relationships at this stage are with marital partners and friends.

7. Middle-aged Adult: 35 to 55 or 65 Me...soon!

Career and work are the most important things at this stage, along with family. Middle adulthood is also the time when people can take on greater responsibilities and control.

Major life shifts can occur during this stage. For example, children leave the household, careers can change, and so on. Some may struggle with finding purpose. Significant relationships are those within the family, workplace, local church and other communities.

8. Late Adult: 55 or 65 to Death

Erik Erikson believed that much of life is preparing for the middle adulthood stage and the last stage involves much reflection. As older adults, some can look back with a feeling of integrity — that is, contentment and fulfillment, having led a meaningful life and valuable contribution to society. Others may have a sense of despair during this stage, reflecting upon their experiences and failures. They may fear death as they struggle to find a purpose to their lives, wondering “What was the point of life? Was it worth it?”

We are about to take up 4 of these demographics soon. Strange to be completely out of the baby stage and I don't *feel* old enough to be middle age yet. Time is such a funny thing. You can never really imagine being a certain age and then one day, there you are!

Helicopter Parenting...Gone too Far!

2009-11-24T13:41:00.003-06:00

Advice D.H. Lawrence offered back in 1918: "How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning."

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1940395-4,00.html#ixzz0Xo8kwWFM

I love this article. It is pretty timely for me. I have been giving Alex more and more freedom. I give him some room, he handles himself admirably, he gets more room. He is more self assured and self sufficient. I couldn't be prouder and I couldn't be happier to see the growing boy coming along.

Yesterday he popped into Little Ceasar's Pizza with $10 to pick up a cheese pizza. All by himself. We stayed in the car, watching him through the window, while he asked for his order and paid. These events are less of a big deal the more they occur. He knows he can handle himself and my fears about what could go wrong are dissipating quickly.

It is hard to let go of the fears that bombard parents these days. When you can step back, though, the freedom is exhilarating.

Slow at Posting

2009-11-23T11:28:00.002-06:00

Every now and again I think, I need to put this on my blog, but then life happens. Izzy is into her second week of this cold, which is pretty much just a dry cough at night now. Rob and I have been dragging. Tired...almost sick, with a sore throat or headache...and busy. Very, very busy.

I have a house to clean from top to bottom. I started yanking things out to reorganize and I think I have just made things worse, lol.

It is a weird limbo where I am waiting to get to the meaty part of the holiday season and yet I know it will come far too soon. My to-do list gets longer and my motivation to do any of it keeps decreasing. A horrific catch-22.

Think I will head up for a nap and try to get enough energy to clean the basement later today.

Proud Mommy Moment

2009-11-23T11:21:00.004-06:00

Alex's piano teacher is thrilled with his current progress! Yay!!! He mastered 2 songs in his lesson today, one of which he had not practiced yet and learned the second half to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Apparently he played the whole song through with no help. I am just jumping for joy here!

He started lessons a year ago this January, with a break over the summer. It has been slow and gruelling at points. Alex said that, "...now piano is challenging and not frustrating!" Mrs. Richard's, his teacher, equates learning piano to learning to read. You slug through the early stages, sounding out letters, and then one day it just clicks. We think it has finally clicked for Alex.

He continues to buckle down and sit through lessons without goofing off. We have come a long way over the last few months. We all feel pretty good right now.

Sibling Rivalry at its Finest!

2009-11-17T11:40:00.003-06:00

Izzy: "I am sicker than you! Mommy, I am sicker than Alex? Right?!"

Alex: "No, I am sicker than you. I have a headache. You just have a stuffy nose."

Izzy: "Am too! I think I still have a fever. I need medicine."

Alex: "No you don't. I had the fever this morning."

Izzy: "Yes I do!"

Alex: "No, you don't!"

Alex & Izzy: "MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"

(Add in loud, whiny and sarcastic tones for full effect.)

Well, that was fun...

2009-11-16T19:06:00.003-06:00

Christmas lights up - check.

First holiday family meal over - check.

First of many Santa presents purchased, delivered and opened - check.

Rob had Remembrance Day off. He actually took the whole day off. It was beautiful outside so he put up the Christmas lights after getting a promise not to put them on until after his birthday.

Then we had the big November family gathering. It is Rob's late mother's brothers and sisters and their offspring, grand-offspring. A number too large to be accommodated in any one house so we rent a hall pretty much in the middle of no-where and one family (mine this year) handles the turkey while everyone else contributes the rest. We live the farthest away so it becomes an entire weekend-long event.

So, yesterday morning at 8am I dragged my poor, sick, sister-in-law out the door for a long drive to the location. We got the 31lb beast in the oven and killed an entire day gabbing, eating, playing Uno and Bananagrams (my new favourite game) and getting the hall ready. By late afternoon most of the family was there. Lots of good food was eaten. Santa came and the kids got their first presents of the holiday season. There was a 4 hour drive home with an over-tired and very cranky 4 year old.

It was a lot of work and I was just plain exhausted today. We stayed inside, dressed in grubby, comfy clothes, while we snuggled on the couch watching movies. These traditional gatherings can sometimes be a bit of a pain but the kids have a blast. I didn't have a lot of traditions as a kid and it is nice to see things like this that the kids can rely on.

Sometimes life just gets too hectic!

2009-11-10T20:45:00.003-06:00

I haven't been blogging nearly as much as I have meant to. The time changed and now it is dark by 5pm. Rob has been putting in a ton of over-time to help finish the new release. There was Izzy's birthday. And Halloween. Some other responsibilities started taking over too. I feel tired. Then there is Izzy. My darling girl who knows all the right(?) buttons to push. The meltdowns have been epic. One resulted in a bloody lip - my bloody lip. They have been a major contribution to the lackluster energy and motivation that has taken over.

Lots of good things are happening though. Alex is reading real novels. Big novels. All on his own. He polished off Charlotte's Web in just over an hour. Crazy, huh?! He is coming along with his writing and math too.

It has been a really good few months for meeting and connecting with more homeschoolers too. I have had a core group of friends that has sustained us but now it seems the entire Durham region is coming out of the woodwork. It is nice to connect. Meet more moms like me. Have more friends that the kids can rely on while our neighbours are all at school. Girls are really good at making friends but as women we sometimes let life swallow us up and it takes a while to put ourselves back on the front burners. This week I am going for coffee with a couple of moms. To talk and laugh. It got me thinking about all the other friendships that have been put aside for too long so I have started emailing those gals and insisting we write each other in our calendars soon.

On another positive note, there is my pride and joy, our homeschooling co-op. Started with those three other moms and our nine children, it looks like it is going to be very successful! I'll have to post about it in greater detail when I have more time - soon.

For now I will get myself off the computer and clean up the kitchen. We'll be away this weekend for our first holiday function - too soon! - and as always, I have a lot to do.

Pictures Sometimes Say it All!

2009-11-10T00:44:00.002-06:00

It has been a helluva few weeks with Izzy. I have been on the receiving end of some of the most volatile tantrums I have ever seen in my life. One of which rates up there in my top 3 worst moments in parenting, for sure. Between Halloween, her birthday and the time change there has been constant battles with this child.

Yesterday Rob calls me into the kitchen to take a look at something funny. Izzy has been playing with the letters on the fridge for months, making up words. She had yet to make an actual word. Until now. I nearly killed myself laughing. Brilliant. And scary all at the same time!

Happy Birthday Miss Iz!!!

2009-11-04T12:55:00.007-06:00

I have been flooded with memories today, about Izzy's birth. She loves listening to stories about herself as a baby. So, for her future reading pleasure, I will write it all out for her now as I find that with each passing year, details begin to fade.

We had been sent to the hospital a few times for an induction but were always turned away because they were too busy. I had an overly cautious obstetrician (by everyone's standards) and slightly higher than normal blood pressure. On the morning of Thursday, November 3, 2005, I went in to see the doctor who had hoped I would have gone into labour since seeing him that Monday (when I refused to forgo trick or treating with Alex) and discovered he was quite eager for this baby to be born. Daddy was working from home so he could watch Alex and so I wouldn't have had to schlep my gigantic two year old on the subway to the appointment. Plus the last few appointments involved non-stress tests and more blood work - always a surprise and last minute addition to my quick check-up. Though Alex usually enjoyed accompanying me. If he was good, the doctor's visit also included a trip across the street to Tim Horton's for his sprinkle donut.

To my surprise the doctor asked one of the nurses to call St. Mike's hospital across the street and tell them to prep a room, he was sending me over. "Like, right now, right now?!", I asked. He said I had a little time. It might be okay if I was there within an hour.

Funny enough, I was calmer than I had been the last few times I was sent to triage for induction prep. I called daddy and told him I was checking into the hospital but would be stopping for a quick bite to eat before I went in. Then I called Heather and asked if she could leave work as soon as possible to relieve Daddy of Alex's care. Aunt Kelly would be heading to Toronto later in the day to take over the night duty. I felt completely at my leisure. I knew that it would take a while to check in and that even if they started the pic drip (and if Alex's induction labour was any indication) it would be a very long day ahead.

I made my calls, walked down the street to Pizza Pizza, had a slice of veggie and enjoyed my few minutes of solitude. It was a bit cool outside but very sunny. I told Rob to relax, not rush and bring all the stuff with him. I even told him to remember to grab a coffee on the way. No rush, I said!

When I got to the hospital the nurse at the front desk was surprised I was alone but was amused by how calm and relaxed I was. We even joked around a bit. I was taken immediately to a birthing suite and given my gown. Within the next half hour I was even hooked up to an IV. Your poor Daddy found me in the room all set to go, just waiting for labour to kick in. I think he felt bad for not being there the whole time.

The day and evening went by slowly. I don't remember much except the occasional trip out of bed to walk in circles around the room. It was pretty light labour through the night. I clearly remember laughing to myself as I watched as your father slept peacefully on the pull-out bed while I tried to help bring on labour. Luckily for your dad, I was always concerned about his well-being while I had the baby?!

By morning I still had not progressed very far and was getting tired and irritable. A nurse asked when I might want the epidural and by 8am we had decided to go ahead and call for one. Unfortunately for me, all the anesthesiologists had just convened for a meeting and I would have to wait.

I think my epidural arrived just after 10am. It didn't go well. Within seconds half of my body was completely numb, and only on the left side! I still had the pleasure of half feeling the labour pains, combined with overwhelming nausea thanks to the dramatic drop in blood pressure and feeling like I wanted to faint. I distinctly remember trying not to panic as my breathing felt more difficult and seeing the clearly concerned faces of your dad, the anesthesiologist and my nurse. All of whom, by the way, stayed right by my side for well over an hour.

The epidural was not pulled out but the drugs were basically stopped. A whole room full of people came in to check on me and see how far I was dilated. Turns out nothing else was really going on. You weren't progressing at all. The poor nurses were very concerned that I was going to get angry or upset by how slowly it was all going. I told them that after the length of Alex's labour, a day was nothing! In fact, I was relieved to have some time to relax and regroup after the scary incident with my epidural. Everyone left and I relaxed as best as a woman in labour could relax.

By noon the contractions were fairly regular but quite manageable. I told daddy to go get some lunch. To actually leave the building and get some real food. I was quite confident that I had all the time in the world. Not long after he left the contractions got stronger. My nurse would pop into the room to check on me but for the most part left me alone to concentrate. It was strangely relaxing and I started getting excited. I had not experienced labour in a conventional way with your brother (woke up in the middle of the night, still in a medically-induced fog, to a room full of people, alarms and a blinding white light) and it felt amazing the way I could sense you coming down the birth canal. There was pressure but no pain. I remember thinking how cool it was. By the time daddy got back I was getting a little concerned that you were coming quite quickly and started to wonder if this would be one of those cases of the baby being born as soon as the dad stepped out.

I asked your dad to call the nurse in to check your progression. I felt silly for some reason, thinking that I was so close to birth. I expected something different out of the experience. My nurse came in and saw that I had gone from 3cm to 9 1/2cm in less than 2 hours. This, after more than 20 hours to get from one centimetre (which I had been at for weeks) to two and a half. That is when all the excitement began. More nursed were called in. Someone paged the doctor on call. It was suggested that I start pushing - which I rejected. I said I had been taught the first time to let the baby come and push only at the very end, and that is what I was going to do! Just shortly before 1pm I started pushing to get you out. It was amazing. I had the great fortune of having a baby with a small head this time around. There was no excruciating pain or burning. I had all my faculties about me and was wide awake. I could feel every part of the process and it felt great!

Daddy likes to tell the story of how your umbilical cord shot out like silly string after your shoulder was dislodged. Even the staff remarked at the length, lol. You came out pink, tiny and perfect. With long, jet black hair! To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I think people were amused by my reaction and pointed out my non-blond-haired husband. I honestly pictured you to look like, well, like you do now!

You were perfection. Since there were no complications I asked for us to be discharged as soon as possible - which was at least 6 hours after birth. I had no intention of sharing a room with someone with tons of visitors and nurses who didn't help you out anyway. If I was going to have a sleepless nught with my baby, it was going to be at home. After some issues with a different ward nurse, a quick trip to the NICU (to the chagrin of the doctor in charge there who couldn't figure out why you needed to be taken from me to begin with), a quick shower and a visit from Alex, Kelly and Grandpa, we were on our way home.

It is hard to believe that 4 years have passed already. So Happy Birthday to my baby girl! Life with you has never been dull. You have been master of your own universe pretty much since conception. You came to us just when daddy and I decided to have only one child. Persistent, you are! You have never been a push-over. Just ask the nurses and doctors who laughed when you would shove them back during my pre-natal check-ups. They told me you were going to be a little spitfire. Alex called you spicy the moment he saw you. He was right. You are loving, stubborn, loyal, brave, fiercely independent and one of the joys of my life. Living with you challenges me to be a better person. Thank you for bringing such happiness to my life...most of the time ;-) We all love you very much.

This is the Tricky Part

2009-11-01T07:49:00.003-06:00

I find there is a delicate balance home-schooling the kids and giving them enough freedom to wade out into the world on their own. Letting go is a scary thing for parents. I am occasionally reminded of this during swimming lessons.

I am still dealing with Izzy fighting me over getting in the pool. We are making a little progress. Watching Alex in class, however, is quite an experience. I often need to remind myself that he's fine, even enjoying himself but there are moments I want to jump up and tell those people to bring my kid out of the pool.

Every class they seem to venture further into the deep end. I realize this is on purpose. Still, it is hard to watch a boy who is a beginning swimmer, at best, jump into an area that is clearly above his head when the instructor is not quite in arms reach. In fact, last class they were 3/4 of the way to the other side when Alex had to jump in and swim to them. He flailed a bit. He looked stressed which was probably more his determined under pressure expression, swallowed a fair bit of water and looked pretty exhausted. It was so hard to see him struggling. But I sat there, literally biting my tongue, shouting in my head, 'okay - grab him now!' - waiting for him to reach his teacher before he drowned.

He did, of course, reach the teacher. She was so genuinely thrilled when he made it to her that even I was touched. They gave each other a high five. Alex's grin took over his entire face (when he wasn't coughing up water). He was so proud of himself, as he should have been. He did it! He swam 3/4 of the way across the pool in water well over his head. He overcame his own fears, pushed himself when he could have just as easily given up and accomplished this major milestone.

Like I said, it is so hard to watch them struggle but the pride in seeing them succeed at something they did completely on their own is exhilarating. So proud! And so not looking forward to going through this all over again next week.

On a funny side note...

2009-10-26T12:34:00.004-05:00

A few years ago I attended a friend's bachelorette party and was treated to my first ever encounter with a psychic reader. It was actually quite a bit of fun. I mean, you can't get any more skeptical than me, which she 'read' when I sat down with her, lol, but she did mention something that has sat with me these past few years. She told me that I would find a career, accidentally, to do with writing. It would literally fall into my lap since I am not likely to pursue paid work. I thought or hoped she meant that I was finally going to finish (write?) a novel. Well, no time to even read much for pleasure these days (at least books for me), so definitely no time to sit and write for hours each day. I have had something fall in my lap though. Resumes. Lots and lots of resumes. Turns out I am really good at making them up for people. And I enjoy doing it. A few I had done for the odd friend or neighbour has turned snowballed into a bonafide small business. Or, it could if I had the time. I can't believe how many people would hire my services if I really threw myself into it. Nice to have a little extra cash though. It has been years since I made real actual money!

Funny how things happen. Resume writing - of all things!

Such Harmony!

2009-10-26T12:13:00.004-05:00

It may be a rare thing these days but when the kids get along, they really get along! Right now Alex is playing Wii, earning some game time after a stellar week of piano practice and a much improved lesson and Izzy is sitting on the couch, watching, cheering him on. They are best buds at the moment. No whining, snickering or sassy talk between them. I know it can't last but it makes me feel so peaceful when they are like this.

I am taking a few hours to myself this afternoon. I have been just swamped with commitments these past few weeks. I am trying to juggle a lot of balls in the air right now but will soon have to prioritize and delegate. My primary commitment is to homeschooling and whatever helps me get what my children need. Right now, that means a strong connection to the homeschool community at large and more academic opportunities. We (myself and three other hs moms) have started the groundwork for what could be a fantastic co-op program and I am very excited over the possibilities.

It is hard not to want to do everything. At least, for me it is. I like being busy. I like being in charge. Shocking, I know, lol. Something about creating schedules and organizing people just relaxes me. Guess I am just an odd duck?!

So I have calendars and spreadsheets printed out and laid in front of me. There are birthdays and parties, lessons and meetings. My life, at least for the next three months, is fairly well planned out. There will no doubt be stressful nights but I try to remind myself to have fun, enjoy this time and these kids. Time flies by so fast. The whole point of all this planning is to make like better for us all.

Haven't Disappeared

2009-10-23T10:36:00.003-05:00

Just very, very busy! I am off to meet with a head librarian later this afternoon about getting an educational, project oriented co-op going for our area. Fingers crossed that it all goes well.

So much to do, so little time. I have many projects on the go, only a few of them directly revolving around homeschooling. I had been pining for more me time but I'd settle for more homeschool time at the moment.

Good thing the kids are such independent learners.

Giftedness as an Exceptionality

2009-10-14T15:18:00.005-05:00

My sister-in-law has her Masters degree in Behavioural studies, with a specialty in Autism. At Thanksgiving we were talking about exceptionalities, such as ADHD and Autism. I mentioned that in the past more than a couple of people had suggested to me that Alex may have Asperger's syndrome. He shares a few of the same traits but is not lacking empathy (the complete opposite more likely) and does not lack social and emotional reciprocity. The same can be said for ADHD. He has many of the characteristics but not all. In fact, he comes pretty close to qualifying for many labels but always falls just short of some imperative characteristic.

Well, the more I read into giftedness, the more I am surprised. I had always assumed being gifted was sort of a stroke of luck, or genetics, and other exceptionaliities were co-morbid. I thought maybe Alex was gifted but also had ADD. Or perhaps a central processing disorder. Maybe he is bipolar and these are just early signs?

Then I came across this term - overexcitabilities or supersensitivities in gifted children. Huh!? A guy named Dabrowski came up with a group of the most common sensitivities: Psychomotor, Sensual, Emotional, Intellectual, and Imaginational. He says that gifted children tend to have more than one of these intensities, although one is usually dominant.

This one is for the psychomotor (often confused with ADHD in children). Typical traits are:

* Rapid speech -- check
* Impulsive behavior -- check
* Competitiveness -- so-so but we don't encourage that behaviour in general
* Compulsive talking -- oh yes!
* Compulsive organizing -- okay, not this one, lol
* Nervous habits and tics -- yes and getting more noticeable as he gets older
* Preference for fast action and sports -- yes
* Physical expression of emotions -- oh, yes, yes and yes!
* Sleeplessness -- check

It was a real eye-opener. In fact, I joined a few gifted boards online and have met quite a few other parents with pretty similar children. I don't know if I am pro or anti-label, so to speak, but it is always nice to find your people and get more information about why he/we do the things we do.

Interesting find for me. I feel more at ease over Alex's little eccentricities now.

Apple Sauce

2009-10-14T14:52:00.003-05:00

We went apple picking a few weeks ago. I have a giant box of apples in the garage sitting on top of the freezer in the garage right now. We made apple sauce again but this time got to use our funky apple peeler. I bought it right before Christmas when it was on sale for less than $10 at some discount place. I remembered how long it took to peel all the apples with the kids last year. This seemed like it might be fun. It was amazing! It even sliced the apples so they came out like little round accordion balls. We had a blast with it and the peeling didn't feel nearly as tedious as it did last year.

Off the apples went into the crockpot. Added a tiny bit of water. No cinnamon this year - Rob didn't like it, cooked it then mashed until just a little bit chunky.

It was soooooo yummy. Gone quickly too. Going to make another pot this week. Should dig the pork chops out of the freezer too.

Turkey Day 2009

2009-10-14T14:29:00.003-05:00

We had a lovely visit at aunt Kelly's again! Complete with our annual pilgrimage to the pumpkin farm. This year was a short visit. We froze our butts off and got away as quickly as we could after finding 2 lovely specimens and taking the obligatory pics.

Good things come to those who wait?

2009-10-14T10:48:00.004-05:00

What a morning! I just got a call about finally getting a time and venue for the home-school coop we are trying to get off the ground. Something educational, where the kids do some group work, presentations may be involved...basically the one thing most of us feel like our kids are missing out on not being at school. I am very excited! This has been a long time coming.

This morning was also an exciting one for Alex. I knocked on his bedroom door at 10am to convince him that even LEGO addicts needed sustenance. Turns out he had been reading all morning. Late last night we popped into the library to get an insane quantity of books (even the librarian was impressed and they know his usual take) and he picked up The Day My Butt Went Psycho by Andy Griffiths. It is a 240 page book, about 300 words per page and no illustrations. When he picked it up I thought, great, I'll have to read this with him. Even though he is a good reader, larger books (of the fiction variety - not those encyclopedic sized science jobs) seemed to overwhelm him so he wouldn't even try. Well, not this book. It is done. He was at page 182 when I interrupted him. I started quizzing him on the book but stopped myself. Over the course of lunch I let him just talk about it.

Then Izzy was back at her math book. She did 17 pages a few days ago and I stopped her at 14 today. This child has a serious addiction with worksheets, lol.

All in all, it has been a much better week. Maybe we are getting our groove back. The weather has been colder but the sun has been shining a bit more too - which helps. Good to be on the upswing again.

It Is A Love/Hate Thing

2009-10-07T23:07:00.002-05:00

You would think that when something happens to you each and every year you would come to expect it. Like in late Spring when all of a sudden I am battling a cold that drags on for weeks until my delightful husband steps in to say, 'It's your allergies...take a Claratin'. I feel like an idiot every single year. It really never occurs to me that the new grass and flowers are wreaking havoc with my sinuses.

Well, it is October and I *forgot* how dark it gets early in the evening and I *forgot* how much more tired I feel, and grumpy. I am one of those prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder. Those of us already lucky enough to have a mood disorder and live in parts of the hemisphere that have long, dark winters get the added bonus of feeling extra crappy with less light (or serotonin).

It is terrible. I am craving starchy foods I had gotten myself off of all summer. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I've been skipping the gym a lot. I just want to wrap myself up in my cozy knit blanket and cocoon on the couch all winter watching BBC or A&E period pieces.

There is another side at war with my SAD side. The part of me that loves Fall...the comfort of warm sweaters and cozy nights in; stews in the crockpot and home baked goods; and those fabulous holidays and special events to look forward to. I can see so much beauty in the dull clouds and monochromatic gray hues that colour the outdoors. The air feels so crisp and cool. Cheeks are rosy and there is a quickness to everyone's steps as they scurry about outside. I love the smell of fireplaces, even the hum of the furnace. I feel much more enchanted these days then I do even on those bright sunny days in summer. Such a dichotomy to love something that is so bad for me. I guess Fall is my guilty pleasure.

Normally I miss the early stages of SAD because I am too busy enjoying myself. I keep pretty busy September through Christmas. This year, however, I am a little more tired or, I suppose, burnt out from the emotional roller coaster that was September. It has left me more susceptible to this borderline, hypo-manic state.

I am not sure what the point of this post was. I guess since I am awake much later than I wish to be, playing around on the computer - revving up my brain instead of helping it wind down, I just needed to remind myself why things are going the way they are going these days.

I sometimes tell friends that I wonder what it would be like to feel "normal". Meaning, what would life be like without all these ups and downs. Most people reply that everyone has ups and downs. That there is no normal. Still, I think it would be cool to get into someone else's head space just to see.

Life

2009-10-03T08:44:00.003-05:00

We still have separation anxiety fall-out from the whole school experiment. Izzy doesn't want me out of her sight. Actually, Izzy doesn't want me out of touching range. The latest is refusal to get in the pool for swim class. The same swim class and instructor she had gone to each week over the summer. {{{sigh}}} I am trying to be patient. Really.

On the other hand, Izzy is a very enthusiastic home-schooler. She just goes on and on about how happy she is or what she wants to learn next. It is heavenly.

This week has been a quieter week for us. No house guests and I got sick at the end of the week so we've been just relaxing at home. Alone. It's great. At first the kids were bickering like crazy but we sat down together and had a few talks about what were my expectations for behaviour. We talked about how we need to try harder to get along. While we will disagree, get annoyed or have just plain bad days we need to curb the ongoing attitude that has been happening between the kids. They have spent a lot more time this summer spending time apart from each other playing with separate groups of friends but with everyone busy and back to school the kids are thrown back together as playmates.

They decided that they were lucky to have each other to play with and that they could grow up to be friends like daddy and Aunt Kelly. We talked about what kind of house we wanted to live in and readdressed rules that we could all agree on. I explained that if everyone was unhappy we had the choice of kids to school, mom to work and we'll hang together in the evenings and weekends. I think that got their attention. They love the way our family works as it is and couldn't imagine it being any other way.

I can honestly say this past week has been one of the best ones in a long while. Everyone is getting along. There is less bickering, whining and yelling. I don't know how long it will last but we'll keep trying to push for a respectful family that communicates openly with one another.

Masks

2009-10-03T08:35:00.004-05:00

...from Art Class!

Books We Love

2009-10-03T08:09:00.002-05:00

We put in our request with my neighbour's classroom scholastic order. I've been so good about not spending all our money at Chapters and now this...a monthly magazine full of book titles the kids and I drool over. I remember how much I loved those Scholastic orders as kids.

We picked up the math dictionary by DK books. I figure Alex loves reading books with short blurbs and definitions so this would be another good way to learn math.

Fun with Roman Numerals. It explains it much better than I did.

We also picked up a 4 pack of the Horrible Science books by Nick Arnold. I didn't know these existed. I have been (not patiently) waiting for Alex to be older, or rather mature enough, to read the Horrible History series and was very excited to come across these. We picked up Blood, Bones and Body Bits, Shocking Electricity, Fatal Forces and Nasty Nature.

From our last library haul, notable mentions for:

Revolting Poems to Make you Squirm by Susie Gibbs
DK Eye Wonder book of Weather
Fire Fighters in the Dark by Dashka Slater

Our life in Photos

2009-09-26T09:18:00.004-05:00

Played baseball with plastic animals.

Took a tour on a Naval Ship.

Made some (very messy) gooey gunk.

Played with it for a while.

Alex and I made, then ate insane quantities of sushi. Izzy just licked wasabi off her chopsticks.

Izzy wrote a list of all the things she can do now that she isn't in school all morning. I helped with spelling...and wrote 'China Town' at the top.

The kids played hairdresser. The name of the salon was the boy's idea.

Did school work. That is my nephew L who stayed with us for three days.

Regaining Normalcy

2009-09-26T08:41:00.003-05:00

This was Izzy a few hours after her last day at school, last week. I felt just as tired.

Life got a little bit more normal this week, save a three day visit from my 6 year old nephew who threw our routine into a bit of a tumble. I can happily let everyone know that the surly, stressed out former JK'er is nearly back to her old self. It has been a week now and there are no more nightmares and sleepless nights. No more angry temper tantrums. No aggression or fatigue induced meltdowns.

I am, however, dealing with a whole whack of residual separation anxiety, the likes of which I have never experienced with either child. She wouldn't stay in dance class when she realized Rob was dropping her off. She refused to go to her friend's house without mommy. The same friend she has played with (without mommy) all summer. I tried to beg, bribe and cajole her into getting in the pool at swim class. She had the same teacher and took the same class every week for the entire summer. In fact, in early July, she went in on her own without issue for the very first time to a swim class that was her first without daddy in the pool.

It always ends the same - with tears in her eyes. She pleads to stay with me or Rob. She says she doesn't want to do any of the activities and turns herself into lead weight. Never moving from her spot. Friends, neighbours and the teachers of these activities are quite shocked to see how clingy and fearful she has gotten. Especially from our normally extroverted, independent child.

I sincerely hope this passes quickly. I will give her more support right now as she needs it and try to help her feel more secure again. Life is slowly feeling like it did before last May when we signed up for all this. My fingers are crossed that this anxiety is the last, short lived hump to get over.

Rob and I Talked

2009-09-20T06:05:00.002-05:00

This has been an excruciating couple of weeks. I have had to cope with Izzy's deteriorating behaviour at home. She pees the bed 2 or 3 times each night. She has been unbelievably mean and lashing out. She is super clingy and we couldn't even leave her at activities she normally went to. She isn't sleeping. Her moods fluctuate between liking school and hating it, dreading it.

Then there are the drop-offs. So unpleasant that I feel tense just thinking about it. Watching her being pulled away, crying, is so opposite to not only my gut reaction but opposite to how I have parented all along. I've never pushed and allowed them to progress at their speed. The kids are confident and independent in spite of my "coddling" all these past years.

On top of it all, I do not feel like the school is helpful in transitioning the kids. I thought this was just me being over sensitive at first but after talking to parents with children at different schools, I am more unhappy with how this school or teacher handles things. If I had the money and the inclination, I think I would be looking into Montessori schools right now. At least that philosophy gels more with mine.

So I've spent the weekend listening to other people's opinions, rereading some of my why homeschooling rocks books, asking for help from some online parenting folks I've known since I was pregnant with Alex...heck, doing everything short of asking the universe for a sign on how to proceed.

Last night I broke down. I felt absolutely sick over this. It is so hard to push towards something that feels so wrong in your gut. Especially when you don't have to be doing it. In tears I told Rob what I was thinking and feeling. I asked him to hear me out...and that I would be completely honest with my thoughts...then asked him to tell me what to do. Which is funny, because he never tells me what to do. Something about "I trust your instincts...", etc.

I said that I didn't want to do this any more because I am a homeschooler through and through. I believe in the process. I am as committed to it as I am to being politically on the left and an atheist. No regrets or doubts in that department. 100% at peace there.

I said that, in this instance at this particular point in time, school feels so wrong. Not because she cries at drop-off, or because her behavior sucks (because I know it gets better for the majority of kids) but because I am less at ease with school itself. Sitting at tables until you are told otherwise. Raising your hand to go pee. All stuff required to reign in hundreds of children together in one building but sure as heck not essential to the emotional growth of my child. I am very concerned about the lack of proper academic stimulation for her abilities. Isn't the whole point of school to learn? All she is learning is how to be a good student, in a bricks and mortar school environment.

I said that Tuesday I saw a bunch of homeschool kids get back together in art class after being away all summer. They ran into the room, excited, hugging each other, laughing and having fun. At the time it felt like a large, boisterous group but I remembered that this crowd was quite a bit smaller than her kindergarten class, at least by about 5 or 6 kids. The art teacher mentors them, taking suggestions, not teaching at them. They were relaxed and free to communicate with each other. I know that these kids mostly know each other already. I know a good number of them are older than 3 or 4 years old. But, parents are welcome. We help those who need it and step back when they are ready to move forward on their own. It was such a stark contrast to what I am seeing at school.

I said that people around me and at school (obviously) want to give this time for her to settle in...that what I am seeing is for the good of all the kids. Well, no offense to any one out there but my only concern is my kids and what they are getting from this. Plus all these issues are not going to fade away because she isn't crying at the door. I will still be unhappy. I feel like if I could have a do-over, I would have told her school was not an option yet.

I said that I don't know what is wrong with me. That I have no idea how I became such a radical non-conformist but that it is there now and I don't think I can pretend to like or agree to this system. That this goes beyond giving it the old college try. That she is too young.

There have been a few positives but not enough to make me stay the course. I like getting up early...who knew? I do like having more structure to our day. These things I can do on my own though.

Rob wanted to know whether or not we had valid concerns, other than separation anxiety, before we pulled her out. He is a fan of homeschooling and has faith in that process too. As an academic minded person, himself, I know he has issues with educational standards and the curriculum too.

I am a very intuitive person. I trust my instincts and work from there. It has been very hard second guessing myself, listening to multiple opinions and worrying that my intentions are honorable, so to speak. In my heart and in my actions I believe I approached this with as much enthusiasm as possible. I convinced myself, and now I see wrongly convinced others, that I had specific reasons for homeschooling Alex (which I did at the time) that didn't necessarily apply to Izzy. But why we continue has nothing to do with his intellect or attention issues. We homeschool because we are homeschoolers. Period.

So, after pouring my heart out and feeling terrible about this even being such an ordeal, we agreed that school is not for us. That it will be quite a few more years before we agree to sending her but it will be at a time when she is more mature and able to see school for what it is and get from it what she needs.

I can't send her back Monday. I feel like I might be letting some people down but I just can't do it. This is a moral, philosophical and lifestyle choice for us. My heart, my mind, my gut and my husband all agree, I can do this at home - better.

I still have a residual tummy ache but overall my piece of mind is slowly being restored.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive these past few weeks. I can't say how much I needed it and appreciate it.

Not sure what to say at this point.

2009-09-19T14:48:00.003-05:00

Partly because we have not decided what to do. Everyone was surprised by Izzy's reaction to attending school on Friday. I have never experienced a scenario where my crying child had to be forced into a room. She wouldn't go in on her own and the teacher had to carry her in from the school yard.

It was shocking to me, Rob and other friends and family members who know her so well. This is not a shy, introverted kid.

Here is my problem. Half the time, she wants to continue going to school. So far, she seems to enjoy the last half of her day there. I also know that she is having difficulty transitioning for many reasons. It is new and there are 19 other 3 and 4 year old kids. She is used to being one of the youngest in groups and classes. There are many, many more rules. She is on a stricter, earlier schedule than she is used to. She knows that Alex and mommy are still homeschooling, seeing our homeschooling friends and going to homeschool activities. I know that this is just the beginning and they haven't gotten to the meatier learning parts of school. She is still making friends. And getting used to doing this on her own when everything else in her life, to date, has been an inclusive family affair.

Because she was so insistent about going to school, we relented. Got excited even. She is such a stark contrast to her brother and I felt so sure she would do well that I put aside the other issues I have with school in general and, more particularly, sending 3 year old children off to an extra year of kindergarten. Me, the one who ranted about abolishing JK because it was just a form of subsidized daycare sent my kid off because I thought the she (1) was ready and able to be away from us for a few hours a day, (2) because I figured it was a harmless form of socialization, and (3) she is the kind of kid who needs to experience things first hand.

She is obstinate and headstrong. Two traits that have grown exponentially over the last few weeks. And she is being mean. I can't separate her attitude from what she is picking up on the playground from her tendency to lash out while under stress. I have to ask, though, are the kids who are the most determined in even greater need of a more relaxed environment?

This was a mistake.

2009-09-18T08:09:00.003-05:00

Today was the worst drop off yet. I want her home. I was so sure it wouldn't be like this. Everyone says give it time. Of course, this assumes that I really wanted her or needed her to be there to begin with.

It is not as black and white as people think. If it was only about adjusting and breaking her in I would probably feel different.

This has been, without a doubt, the worst parenting week of my life.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

2009-09-17T09:49:00.003-05:00

An update about Izzy.

Well, we picked up Izzy after school yesterday and she wasn't crying but she wasn't exactly enthusiastic. In fact, she was pretty grumpy on the walk home.

Today is another day off.

Nothing has been solved or settled. She vacillates between saying she will go back (in a more resigned tone, not at all animated) and saying she is home for good to homeschool. In all my life, I've never felt so unsure about how to move forward.

Has she had enough time to deal with her fears and get into a groove? Is it still nerves or is it the setting, with many rules and multiple children with variable needs that stresses her out? Am I giving up if I yank her out now? What message would either scenario send to her?

Tentatively, I made a suggestion to Rob that we send her Friday, the first day with all 20 kids in class. A few of whom are friends that she has not had a chance to see in class yet. Then we have her go (funny, I want to use the word force...which it may come down to) every day next week. If next Friday is still a bust, we bring her home.

It seems reasonable to my mind but the rest of me is reeling. It has been suggested that we wait a full month before we get a real idea about whether or not she will adjust. I am pretty darn sure that my sensibilities could not take a month of this.

I can hear both sides of the argument in my mind. Keep sending her. She will get over her fears and learn to love it. Keep her home. What is the point in trying to break her in when we really don't want (or need) her there to begin with. Would it be giving up or just chalking it up to a life lesson and proceed on at home as we want?

I also have the voice of the teacher and the school in my head but have to be honest, their concerns do not reflect my priorities for my family.

So, I am confused and not sure were all this is heading. I would kill for a magic ball right now.

On a Brighter Note this Morning

2009-09-16T08:55:00.003-05:00

Alex and I are having a good start to the day. We got back, made some hot chocolate (because it was quite chilly this morning) and sat down to some math. Right now he is doing his writing assignment, a list of 10 questions about himself. He is giggling like crazy in there, laughing because all of his answers are either "Star Wars" or "A Secret".

My favourite book is: Star Wars.
My favourite subject is: a secret.
My favourite sport is: a secret.
My favourite movie is: Star Wars.

Funny kid. Anything to make life easier.

Scared Straight

2009-09-16T07:56:00.003-05:00

(Alternate titles for this post considered earlier were JK, Day 2 and Stinking Awful)

Poor Alex, nothing he saw this morning quenched his doubts about bricks and mortar schools. Not that that is a bad thing to me. He wanted to know (1) why it was so early; (2) why they had to stand in lines all the time; (3) what was with the separation of children in different areas; and (4) why on earth would you make the kids stay if they were crying? That last one killed me.

So Izzy woke up this morning begging to homeschool. It was horrible. I knew this staggered entrance thing was crap. Five days since she had been at the school. More than enough time to get herself all worked up again. At one point, I had to leave Rob to talk with her while I went to cry in the shower. Awful. It came down to trying it one more time, today, and then readdressing the idea of homeschooling tonight with daddy.

She finally relaxed a bit at breakfast. We were all up at 6am, to give ourselves a leisurely morning rather than have to rush her out the door. Alex practiced piano while we goofed off in the kitchen and she helped pack her snack. We even had fun on the walk there. Then it was awful all over again.

There was a little boy in the school yard sobbing and screaming while he clung to his mom. Izzy stiffened up and refused to talk. We tried to distract her as much as possible. She did go into the Kindergarten play yard without any problem. She wanted us to stay and watch her- which we did. Then the bell rang. She got into line and started to cry...holding out one arm to me. Awful, awful, awful.

So there are almost 2 hours left before I can go and reclaim her. I am trying to will the clock to move faster.

There are so many issues at play for me here. All conflicting with each other. On one hand, even with the bumpy start, she loved school last week. On the other hand, yesterday was a banner day as a homeschooler - lots of learning, reconnecting with other hs friends and excitement about new projects on the horizon. I felt horrible at the thought of Izzy missing some of it. Yet, Mrs. F-T commented that it was so nice to see Izzy light up with excitement with each new activity. She made a new friend. She thrives on routines. Still, all my reservations about school are coming through at full force. She has a pretty rough class this year. Meaning, there are more than a few kids with behavioral issues. So...here she is...in school for socialization...with kids I wouldn't necessarily pick for her to socialize with (not all of them, certainly)...with kids who are still learning the alphabet and how to cut with scissors...and I have to wonder, why are we doing this?

Do I want her to have a good day or bad today? I'd say I am split 50-50 on that right now.

This is much harder than I thought it would be.

Wormholes, Pangea, and how the Titanic Could Have Been Saved

2009-09-15T20:24:00.003-05:00

Just three of the enlightening conversations I held with (or overheard from) Alex. Geez, that boy has quite the mind. Some highlights...

In the car, a conversation between Alex and Izzy:

Izzy: What did you do in gym today Alex.
Alex (reading): Umm...I don't know. I don't remember.
Izzy: Why don't you remember?
Alex: 'Cause my thoughts just got sucked down a wormhole or something.
Izzy: Like in the sand, like a...what's that called again mommy. Where the moles live?
Me: A burrow.
Alex: No, not that kind of worm hole. The kind with the tunnel in space and time.
Izzy: Ohhh, yeah.
Me: LOL.

Tonight, before bed:

Alex: So, I was thinking about Atlantis and how and when it was. Maybe, because no one can find it, it existed way back in Pangea.
Me: Oh, yeah? What was Pangea again?
Alex: That was what the land on earth was called before the continents shifted and divided the plates.
Me: Right.
Alex: Yep, I think that's why we can't find Atlantis anymore. It doesn't exist because none of the places today existed like it was millions of years ago. So places that did exist then must be gone now too.

Woohoo! Art Class is Back :-)

2009-09-15T14:23:00.005-05:00

With art class comes comic relief...at least where Alex is concerned. Last year he started with a self portrait that looked like a person who had been shot in the head. This year his portrait is another classic. Granted, he is a year older and more, er, less mature. May I introduce Butt Man!

My favourite part of class was when he looked over at his buddy Q's work (a very talented child with a pretty fantastic dinosaur) and said, "Hey Q, that is really great. It is almost as good as mine!", LOL!

Here is Izzy's. I helped. Can you tell? Ha! The child was refusing to do any work and I had just paid for her to take this one single class. (It is normally during school hours but this staggered entrance left today open.) I said I had paid for the materials and we were taking something home to put on the wall. I'm such a good mommy ;-)

Eclectic and relaxed...

2009-09-14T15:22:00.002-05:00

...with an unschoolish bent. Huh? I have read back through my last few posts and think I have moved slightly away from that. Still relaxed - mostly. I have my days, like everyone else. Eclectic, for sure. I like to mix things up and enjoy reading and incorporating different styles and techniques. Unschoolish? Less so each day.

I don't think unschooling works for Alex right now. I wanted to have the work boxes there for him to pick and choose his activities but I realize that certain activities need to be done first thing in the morning. Take today, for example, which was our first day of using the work boxes and was technically a disaster but we had little control over it.

To start, my nephew was with us today. An out of town doctor's appointment for my niece meant a day off school for L. L and Alex are the same age. He is a sweet boy but he and Alex tend to get each other all riled up. Not in a bad way. They just get so excited they become oblivious to the world around them. Then Alex takes a while to settle his brain back down. Plus L is a gaming addict. I banned Wii play today until after Alex had his piano lesson (first one since June) but let the boys play after lunch. By the time everyone left it was late afternoon and Alex was not in a frame of mind to get much done. He gets whinier, and works as slow as molasses. It is hard for him to focus. Izzy starts to get in the way by bugging him or getting in his way. It isn't pretty and eventually devolves into a sulky kid and aggravated mother.

So I know math, piano and reading together will have to come first thing. There will need to be more repetition and better scheduling for his school work. These next few weeks are going to be rough as it is with the extra fatigue from starting activities all over again and this new business of getting Izzy off to school each day.

I wish I could unschool. Between dealing with school (which I am sure is influencing my sudden need to make sure Alex is "covered" in all areas, academically) and dealing with a kid who wakes up each morning with a finite amount of patience and productivity that depletes with each passing hour, I feel forced to come up with a more rigid plan of attack. Mind you, with only two work boxes completed today I can say the relaxed aspect of my homeschooling personality has kicked right in. We'll just finish them tomorrow. I am, after all, not truly on a deadline. And the whole point of this form of education was to keep Alex happy and engaged.

It is hard finding balance some days. As a mom and as a teacher/facilitator.

Recipe Request - Muffins

2009-09-14T14:51:00.005-05:00

This was once posted on the Canadian Heart & Stroke foundation website but I can't find it there now. The recipe comes from Rosie Schwartz (The Enlightened Eater's Whole Foods Guide). These are what my friends know as my maternity muffins. I started calling them that because I bake them for everyone I know when they have a baby. Healthy, nutritious and very yummy! They freeze well and each muffin packs 4 grams of protein, 3 grams of fibre and 219 mg of potassium. They are an odd muffin to make. They remind me of little nests. The muffin is mostly vegetable so when you scoop the mixture into the muffin tins it feels and looks like just a clump of wet carrot and zucchini.

Carrot Zucchini Bran Muffins
(makes 12 muffins)

3/4 cup bran cereal
3/4 cup buttermilk
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup grated carrot
1 cup shredded zucchini
1 egg lightly beaten
1 egg white lightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 400 degrees (200 celcius). Soften bran by mixing together with buttermilk in a separate bowl; set aside. In a large bowl mix dry ingredients and carrot & zucchini. Stir well. In another large bowl combine eggs, vanilla and oil. Mix in mushed buttermilk and bran. Mix dry and wet ingredients. Do not over mix. Spoon into greased muffin tins. Bake 18-20 minutes or until tester comes out dry.

Week One - Work Boxes

2009-09-13T13:11:00.002-05:00

Monday:
- Read Aloud to Mommy (Little House Series - keeping with the pioneer theme this month)
- Writing activity (a worksheet where he answers questions about him)
- Miquon Math (2 or 3 sections from where we last left off)
- Oral recitation of the days and months
- Cutting with scissors
- Board game
- Making houses with architecture stamps

Tuesday:
- Read Aloud (Little House)
- Writing copywork (silly poetry)
- Singapore math lesson
- Working on address and phone numbers
- Cutting with scissors
- Colouring worksheet (geometric shapes)

Wednesday:
- Read Aloud (Little House)
- Writing activity (tbd)
- Miquon Math
- Spelling work with Dolch list 1, worksheet & puzzle
- Science read about Mercury and paint the first planet- styrofoam ball
- History, talk with mom about Pioneer village experience, look at books
- Weather Video (documentary)

Thursday:
- Read Aloud (Little House)
- Writing copywork
- Singapore math lesson
- Grammar Lesson
- Read poetry with Mom
- Geography, lesson on difference between country, province, city
- Computer time, email 2 people

Friday:
- Read Aloud (Little House)
- Writing activity (write a poem)
- Math worksheets
- Spelling work with Dolch list 2, worksheet & puzzle
- Science, work on weather instruments
- Social Sciences worksheets
- jigsaw puzzle

3 Hours of Prep Time Later...

2009-09-13T12:49:00.003-05:00

...and I have completed my first week agenda for those work-boxes! Well, a little of that time was also consumed with organizing the weekly schedule. I am a scatterbrain at heart. I grew up making lists because lists are the only way I can attain the level of organizational perfection I strive for. To me that is as relaxing as a nice bottle of Italian Pinot. When our cell plan ends in a few months Rob and I are getting IPhones and he tells me I can put my schedule on Google Calendars and it will update my calendar on the phone, which will always be with me...but I digress.

So, instead of trying to figure out what to do with the boxes the night before (which I am convinced would fall apart within days), I have a binder which holds all the information I will need to muddle through. Each week has a schedule, a blank sheet with seven boxes for 5 days where I can jot down what I plan, and a blank meal plan sheet. Why the meal planning? Well, I have a pretty thorough meal planning system. Keeping it in my binder makes it easier to remember that Tuesday is lunch in the car on the way to X activity and Thursday is pick up take-out food night because X ends at 6pm. Really, without all these detailed lists, my life as I know it would fall apart. People may laugh but I can honestly say that since the kids have been born I have been freakishly prepared and on schedule. In all the trips we've ever taken I can think of two times when I forgot something, like a toothbrush or night time pull-ups. I need to overcompensate for my bipolar/ADD/mildly OCD brain. Again, I digress...

I figured out how much time I have each morning sans Miss Iz and have a list of things I would like to accomplish with Alex while he is alert and *not* distracted. I also have a list of reminders for other activities that can be thrown into one of the boxes. Monday and Tuesday are shorter work days because some homeschool activities will eat into our alone time. Wednesday through Friday are the good days where we have more time to do what we want. I have a few master templates at the back of my binder to remind me what the goals will be. For the next while we will be focusing more time on writing skills and adding regularly scheduled lessons for history and geography. There are a few science projects that will take up fair chunks of our time too.

I think I will post the Week 1 agenda separately. Maybe I'll do it weekly. We'll see,

What can I say? I'm a BLITZ blogger!

2009-09-11T13:46:00.009-05:00

I usually have a lot to say. I don't always have the time to say it. This is why I post several blogs in one day. I like to sit at the computer for a few hours and just get it all out there. In the interest of time, I am just going to do another week in the life through photos.

We made lop-sided houses, a helicopter and marshmallow men with mini, fruity marshmallows (stale and on sale for 25 cents) and tooth picks.

We stole our friend J's cake decorating idea and made a birthday caterpillar for my niece's birthday.

Izzy rediscovered puzzles and she is really, really good at them.

I made some lemon and lemon cherry bread. Everyone *LOVES* this bread, which is actually a cake recipe that I fiddle with. Sometimes I add poppy seeds, sometimes blueberries. Really anything I just have in the kitchen. Recipe is found at Martha Stewart's site. Oh, and I've made it as the cake too, with the lemon curd and and fruit. To. Die. For.

Alex took the left over lemons and made himself some lemonaide.

Alex started his week long stint as a pioneer student at Black Creek Village.

Rob took Tuesday off to meet the teacher at Izzy's JK intake interview.

She looks so tiny at the school. Plus it is a pretty small school!

Mrs. F-T even handed out homework for the first day in. Cut out pictures of your favourite foods and glue them to a piece of paper. Check out mommy's little perfectionist! The pictures were pretty good squares and they had to be neatly arranged in rows.

She wrote her name on the back. Not bad for a kid who isn't 4 until November.

We picked some tomatoes and made more bruschetta.

Packed a special *Mommy & Izzy Day* picnic, including the cupcakes Izzy made and decorated that morning.

Took the babies for a stroll along the waterfront trail in Whitby.

Found some great stones to skip on the water.

Came back to Heydenshore Park the next night, this time with Daddy, Alex and a bucket of KFC chicken in tow. Had a nice family picnic along a pretty stretch of vacant beach. Found a table mere inches from the water on the rocky shore. The children chased the seagulls from the table and we took a walk down the pier.

Took Izzy to her first real day at school.

She lined up with all the other kids and smiled. A few seconds later she realized she was waving good-bye and would be entering the building sans parental units. There was a little panic and hesitation. I knew she would cry a bit and prayed it would be short lived. I walked back down the path and waited for a friend away from the window so we couldn't see each other. It was hard enough. Thankfully the day turned out well for her.

What is your favorite day of the week?

2009-09-11T13:30:00.002-05:00

Another MDC Blog Challenge!

The problem is I don't think I have a favourite day of the week. I blame this squarely on homeschooling. As a homeschooler with an unschoolish, eclectic bent, Friday and Monday just do not have the same significance as it does to the rest of the world. Of course, this is about to change with Miss Iz throwing a wrench into that picture. Now we have to contend with the Monday to Friday grind just like everyone else. Hopefully Alex and I can keep our bitterness at bay. At least a little bit.

Ask me again in a few months.

Blogging for Bloggers

2009-09-11T13:09:00.003-05:00

I've accepted a challenge from a fellow homeschooler/mom/blogger over here at MDC. I will try to do as many as possible but this has been a very trying week so it may not be as verbose as my posts tend to be. Maybe that is a good thing, lol.

Describe a place you remember from your childhood.

For some reason it seems appropriate that I should write about my kindergarten class. Izzy and I went through some old photos (and gosh I wish I had a scanner because that kid looks scarily like me, in a freaky clone kind of way) and found my kindergarten picture. Now we only had kindergarten way back when. None of this Junior and Senior stuff. I remember my entrance interview and the teacher asking me to count as high as I could. She cut me off some where near one hundred. I remember the tiny blue bathroom stalls near our cubby holes. I remember the circle mat and the nap mats. Geez, we had naps for a half day of school. Weird. There was milk time. And the french teacher would come in - which must have been a Northern Ontario thing because the kids here don't touch french until the fourth grade. Shocking. I don't remember much about the teacher except that she was very kind. That and she wore a blue terry cloth-like dress with brown and orange stripes.

So, with a heavy heart and lots of pretty decent memories of my own, Izzy started her own kindergarten memories this week. It is still shocking to me. 29 years after my own school debut I took Izzy to hers. Time truly flies by!

This pic sums it all up!

2009-09-11T12:39:00.003-05:00

I have had a lot to say about school starting this week. I even started a few other posts but they felt to down, or cynical. Maybe I'll post about it another time. There were a few rough days there. Today was the first full drop-off - no parents allowed. The kids lined up this morning, Mrs. F-T asked the kids to hold up their hands, then wave to the mommies and daddies - and away they went.

Izzy said, "I cried a little bit. Then I feeled better. Then I had so, so, so much fun!!! We sang a song about apples and muffins. The teacher read a book about a dog and his first day of school. I ate my snack and made a new friend and her name is C..."

Mommy is so, so, so proud of her!

It's a school night!

2009-09-07T12:45:00.002-05:00

Right now I am taking advantage of an unusually quiet afternoon. Rob is across the room playing Super Mario on the Wii. Alex is upstairs in his room playing Lego with his friend T. Izzy was just called over to her friend M's house to play. I am printing off activity sheets and experiments from the Environment Canada website. Over the summer we ordered the (free) posters and have just put them up on one of the walls. I am making a list of things I need to pick up to start our weather lessons. We will be making our own barometer, thermometer and anemometer. There will be lots of experiments dealing with air mass and solar heat. Plus we'll track weather from coast to coast. I figure its a good way to teach him about the other provinces too. This should be something we can spend the entire year on.

I should log off now and head upstairs to check on the status of the bread. I've been fretting over this pioneer lunch for Alex. The boy just eats so much during the day and there isn't much protein I can send with him without having the ability to keep it cool. My kids eat very well but they eat a lot, all day. Hard to satiate the belly with apples, carrot sticks and buns. We'll have to pretend that the Babybel cheese and pepperette sticks are are authentic.

Where to start?

2009-09-06T14:46:00.001-05:00

Well. the work boxes are ready but I am not *starting* school until the 14th. Alex will be doing the pioneer camp all week and I think that they are gradually admitting the kids into kindergarten, meaning she will not be in class every day next week.

So I have a week to get things together. I've been working like a maniac cleaning and organizing the house. I mean, I know I have about 4 pairs of kid scissors around but they are upstairs, downstairs and heaven knows where else. So, I think, wouldn't it be nice to find all the stuff hidden around the house and when I need scissors/glue/tape/etc. I will be able to find it asap. Nice in theory, huh?

I know I need to focus on Alex's writing this year. Rob is upstairs right now working with him on adding and subtracting three and four digit numbers. He can do it. He just doesn't write it out very well. I don't expect him to be a perfect writer but I don't want to hinder other parts of his learning because he can't write well. Doing a science experiment is great but having him write anything down about it is excruciatingly difficult. I admit, though, that my big concern is the 'what if something happened and he needed to go to school' mentality. They would probably ignore all the things he excels at and focus on the few things he lags in.

That makes writing a priority this year. Everything else seems to be quite flexible. Which is good and bad. I sit here wondering where do I start? What should we do? Sometimes I wish a curriculum fairy would just drop off a list for me. I should probably just start by getting off blogger :-)

I was thisclose to calling it all off!

2009-09-03T15:39:00.003-05:00

Well, sort of. Izzy has been so 'bad' the last few days that she has us pulling our hair out. Especially after having a good few weeks. She is scared and stressed and venting it out as anger towards us. This morning she came into bed and said, "I changed my mind. I am not going to school. I am going to the pioneer village with Alex." I explained that it was too late for the poineer village. She wasn't signed up and had no costume, etc. We talked about first day of school jitters. Poor thing is getting herself all worked up.

I said if she really doesn't want to go we will un-enroll her but that means no school for the whole year. If she goes and it isn't for her, she can quit at Christmas. Now, what I didn't tell her is that if she was really stressed and doing horribly I would pull her out sooner. I just think waiting until Christmas really gives the class a real shot and we get a better idea of how she is doing. Now, when we get to grade one and beyond, they will be stuck the whole year if they make that commitment. School is not there at their beck and call. I don't want to abuse the system with whims.

It was super tempting to just tell her she wasn't going. I do want her home. She is learning a lot right now. I also think she will enjoy school and just needs to face her fears first. In fact, after we took a walk to the school this afternoon, she seemed more at ease after walking the halls.

My gut said she just wanted reassurance. I hope it was right.

September 3rd...

2009-09-03T15:21:00.003-05:00

...and I am already tired! Izzy has been a bear the last few days. First day of school jitters are wearing us all down. Iz is stressed but still wants to go. Mostly. Today we went to the school to check the class lists. Her friend (and classmate) M came with us. They wandered the halls, drank from the fountain and found their names on the Kindergarten door. Alex requested to stay home and sat and read on a neighbour's porch. Apparently he isn't even curious about school, lol. Her class is Monday through Friday from 8:30 - 11:15am. 19 kids in the class, 11 boys and 8 girls.

We've been cleaning and organizing the whole house, literally top to bottom. Plus, doing some Fall tidying and maintenance. My calendar is filling up at a break-neck speed. Aside from the whole first week of school/driving Alex to friend's for a drop-off and pick-up (so he can head into the city with them), I have meetings, interviews and lots of other stuff next week. But, this weekend I have to bake a cake for neice's birthday, attend neighbourhood Labour Day bbq, teach Alex the words to God Save The Queen, teach him to square dance, introduce him to the concept of a spelling bee, bake homemade lunches for pioneer week...and the list goes on.

Apparently the race is on. Away we go!

One more week :-(

2009-09-01T20:35:00.002-05:00

Izzy starts school soon. I feel a little tense about it. She is a little nervous too. Anxious to go but nervous. All normal, I suspect. I wish I could fast forward a few months to a time when, I hope, we are all more settled. The butterflies in my stomach should be gone by then.

Bees

2009-08-30T07:33:00.003-05:00

As if a mice in the garage wasn't annoying enough, all summer we've had problems with bees. They built a nest in a small space under my concrete front steps. When you are out, sitting on the front chairs or just coming into the house, you will encounter half a dozen buzzing around. Now, I love bumble bees. I know how beneficial they are and that they aren't aggressive unless provoked but their location was not only a nuisance but frightening to the children.

After previously having dumped a few cans of Raid I saw that the bee issue was still a problem. Last night, I started looking up ways to deal with nests. I figured there were 30 or 40 under the step. My friend and I thought, let us wait until dark, move the step and use more Raid directly on the nest. Well, I popped out to the store and came back to a cluster of neighbours who, with my husband, had moved the concrete steps and were getting ready to torch the hive. Let me say how stunned I was by the size! About the size of a football. Hundreds of bees! And at about 4 feet away, the buzz coming out of the hive was truly scary.

The kids were parked several houses down, having brought out lawn chairs to watch the adults and all the commotion. With a hose on stand-by, the nest was burned and eventually the step moved back. It was a little disconcerting to see flames so close to my front door though.

So, the hive is gone. The kids can play on the patio again. I await the next infestation. Locusts, perhaps?

10 Years Ago, Today...

2009-08-27T08:04:00.003-05:00

...Rob and I got married. How a decade passed so quickly is beyond me! We met in University, his first year and my last, in a Japanese language class we both picked up on a lark. We became fast friends. When I moved away the following year we lost touch for a few months. When we reconnected we skipped dating and went straight to engagement -the wedding following a mere 7 months later, shocking all our friends and family who thought we were both still single. We just knew it would all work out.

We have since had 2 children, lost parents, moved more than a few times, bought a house and a car, got jobs, lost jobs, advanced in our chosen fields (okay, I got to stay home with the kids which I had always wanted to do), coped with mental illness, and a whole lot more. There have been ups and downs but we have always remained best friends. We created very high standards in what we expected out of our relationship and easily met them all.

I don't know how or why I got so lucky.

I am very thankful.

Happy Anniversary to husband Rob. May we spend the next 10 (hopefully less eventful) years exactly the same way, with lots of love and even more laughs!